Some Jokes Just Write Themselves

Trolling through the Mormon store… Baptismal Suit adult This one-piece suit is water-repellent polyester-cotton, has short sleeves, and is lined to the knee. Made in USA or imported. via Baptismal Suit adult – Of course it’s water repellent.  The whole point of baptism is to stay dry.  Mormon underwear has the same goal.

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Mitt is an angry hungry horny t-rex who’s just escaped Jurassic Park. (Watch out Big Bird.) Stay with me here. In the Karl Rove contorted world of politics, we have a candidate who lies openly.  His Vice President nominee lies just as much.  When pressed, they have no specifics to offer.   When they do […]

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Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

Why does the Bible hate freedom?  Why do fabulous powers exist, only to have the Bible proscribe them?  Why do Christians in one breath say the Bible is the inerrant word of God and in the next, say that it doesn’t say what it does, and that God secretly explains the plain clear  language’s obvious opposite […]

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What Took You So Long?

  Dear Jesus Freaks: I stumbled upon this bit of “god wants girls to stay virgins until they are barefoot and pregnant in their arranged family courtship marriages” when i was looking for Ferraris and teacher porn. In their “Statement of Faith” these folks insist that. The Bible is the inspired, inerrant Word of God, […]

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I’ll be back?

But will it be in time? No 2012 Have you heard the awesome news? The End of the world is Almost Here! It Begins on May 21, 2011 Judgment Day: May 21, 2011. Sorry, Arnold.  Shit blows up 43 days before the 20th anniversary of James Cameron’s last good movie.  Better get The Governator back […]

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Why does God hate blow jobs?

Today’s bible verse from Buzzkill For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: […]

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