Not like a friendzone thing, because #norules
Hello world
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Read more "Hello world"The Real World
life happens here
Wiener, wiener-wiener
It’s all dudes in the airport think about. Evidently.
Read more "Wiener, wiener-wiener"The Internet: Where the HELL Have You Been?
It’s been a long couple of months. Long story short, I can’t compete with the tragicomic shitshow that is the presidency of popular vote loser Weiner von Shitstain. So, I OD’d on Strippers and cocaine joined the priesthood worked my ass off like a wage slave about to be assfucked by some oompaloompa who would rather watch […]
Read more "The Internet: Where the HELL Have You Been?"Looks like I picked the wrong week…
the spontaneous beer free (so far) August has been great, but not without its issues. Coors N/A is like quitting smoking, in terms of its you ate too much cheese and no fiber effect. Then there’s the dreams. Last night’s triple feature” sharks in Michigan. Yes, stupidly taunting them was involved. Fortunately, there was a scene […]
Read more "Looks like I picked the wrong week…"Do the Blog Thing
The one where we say nice things (for once) about some people and crack (the usual) bad jokes.
Read more "Do the Blog Thing"“Girlfriend” Is Better
Not just in this song ^^, but in the real world too. Better than “wife.” Better than “I haven’t looked at the issue, but I sure wish Arizona recognized common law marriage.” [Ed.: it doesn’t, and if it had, you didn’t qualify anyway.] Because “girlfriend” means no commitments or promises you did not explicitly undertake. And […]
Read more "“Girlfriend” Is Better"Why not?
#UberLife
Driving for Uber is a lot like the singles scene: some chicks don’t see you; some will give a great conversation. Always, you go home alone.
Read more "#UberLife"“I’m a horrible person”
I should never have watched Saw or House of 1000 Corpses. Somehow, my Cast Away adventure with Dan Patrick the sportscaster turned into Lord of the Flies with a bunch of crazy ass people. Hungry, amoral, crazy ass people bent on changing my life irreparably.
Read more "“I’m a horrible person”"Goddam You, Ray
You and your “get yourself another beer.” And your “yeah, you can take a couple with you.” A girl gave me her phone number. I probably shouldn’t have called her. I had a different girl’s number; she had the sense not to pick up. Texting Pro Tip: texting “sleeping” means you’re not. By this point, […]
Read more "Goddam You, Ray"