The Real World

life happens here

TextNonFails – when you say “jalapeno” and the phone types “hell up in you.”

marquis roof

Back to “Normal”

Today marks my third wrestling match with the 30 foot long anaconda.  For those of you that wonder, this is the process: The Prep:  the “Koolaid” sucks, but it’s a million times better if you follow your own “one-way” signs instead of the “alternative” prep. (NTTAWWT) It’s not the bowl or the horcrux that’s empty at the end. 

When the Phi Sigs come back home

All the Young Dudes

Dear America As a human being, an American, a college graduate and a third-degree member of Phi Sigma Kappa, I am aghast at the conduct of SAE at the University of Oklahoma. I’m not terribly surprised, though.  SAE has always been synonymous with dickweed (at least at Western and ASU). Back in the day, SAEs were notorious moneyed assholes. At…


I immediately regret this decision

You would think the lesson was clear enough from the first go ’round. Going to Eli’s means one of three things. (or 5, if you count “that you’re an idiot” twice.) you want another felony DUI stop, because that was fun. some chick (who might want to shag) suggested it. some chick (who assuredly DOES want to shag) suggested it.…


Here’s a fun fact about being a self-employed whatever the hell I am. To get business, you have to publish your contact info.  You publish your contact info and people call you. Some of the people that are inclined to call you are batshit crazy.

It’s not always obvious.

Karma: Sometimes, it is.

When the Phi Sigs come back home

Blow Shit Up: If i were King of the Forest

You’ve been so long Well, it’s been so long And I’ve been putting out fire with gasoline putting out fire with gasoline Cat People (David Bowie) What is the likely institutional response when misconduct* is brought to the attention of the powers that be? *for avoidance of slander claims, let’s just call it deficient exercise of cardinal principles. Or general frat…


Profile photo of Gonzo di Dottore

Gonzo di Dottore

Turn the Page: It’s a more useful metaphor than a “rocket ship into outer space,” but equally apt.

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