except with more passive aggression and veiled threats.
Q: How was your day, dear?
Read more "A: Pretty much just like this…"Wiener, wiener-wiener
It’s all dudes in the airport think about. Evidently.
Read more "Wiener, wiener-wiener"The Real World
life happens here
The Internet: Where the HELL Have You Been?
It’s been a long couple of months. Long story short, I can’t compete with the tragicomic shitshow that is the presidency of popular vote loser Weiner von Shitstain. So, I OD’d on Strippers and cocaine joined the priesthood worked my ass off like a wage slave about to be assfucked by some oompaloompa who would rather watch […]
Read more "The Internet: Where the HELL Have You Been?"Die young and penniless, 2016
Me at the beginning of 2016; me about 5 hours ago, wishing 2016 would GTF off my planet already. pic.twitter.com/BsXMiJzBMo — Messenger Puppet (@messengerpuppet) December 13, 2016 I really thought this was going to be a Pon Farr kind of year (ideally without the treachery). It started out with such promise. I still blame Mötley […]
Read more "Die young and penniless, 2016"A: Pretty much just like this…
Looks like I picked the wrong week…
the spontaneous beer free (so far) August has been great, but not without its issues. Coors N/A is like quitting smoking, in terms of its you ate too much cheese and no fiber effect. Then there’s the dreams. Last night’s triple feature” sharks in Michigan. Yes, stupidly taunting them was involved. Fortunately, there was a scene […]
Read more "Looks like I picked the wrong week…"Do the Blog Thing
The one where we say nice things (for once) about some people and crack (the usual) bad jokes.
Read more "Do the Blog Thing"“Girlfriend” Is Better
Not just in this song ^^, but in the real world too. Better than “wife.” Better than “I haven’t looked at the issue, but I sure wish Arizona recognized common law marriage.” [Ed.: it doesn’t, and if it had, you didn’t qualify anyway.] Because “girlfriend” means no commitments or promises you did not explicitly undertake. And […]
Read more "“Girlfriend” Is Better"The Joy of Being Me
So it’s tax day. Take the day off from the job that has no work. Take the day off from the shitshow that keeps you alive. Do your fucking taxes. Before that, crash at 10 on the couch. Oh fuck, is it time to get up? Nah, it’s just midnight. Go to bed. Now it’s […]
Read more "The Joy of Being Me"Why not?
Not like a friendzone thing, because #norules
#UberLife
Driving for Uber is a lot like the singles scene: some chicks don’t see you; some will give a great conversation. Always, you go home alone.
Read more "#UberLife"