I loved you Prince You were my first real exposure to funk. But you were more than that. Coming from a small midwestern town, you were BATSHITFUCKINGINSANEANDDANGEROUS. And that was the appeal. Blah blah blah talent and moody and iconic and all that. Anybody can say that. To me, you were bigger and badder than […]
The Joy of Being Me
So it’s tax day. Take the day off from the job that has no work. Take the day off from the shitshow that keeps you alive. Do your fucking taxes. Before that, crash at 10 on the couch. Oh fuck, is it time to get up? Nah, it’s just midnight. Go to bed. Now it’s […]
Did you ever get the urge///
to mow down a bunch of kids while this is playing. like in GTA V? Me either. #AskingForAFriend
So, what’ll it be, Master?
Me: Man, i wish I didn’t fuck that drunk Uber chick last night. Genie: Boom, granted.
Strangers…
Thank you Sirius First Wave for the shoutout to Chi Tetarton ca. Winter ’85 and “Hot at the Phi Sigs.” Some of TC’s finest work right there. Ask Hank, he’ll tell you.
#UberLife
Driving for Uber is a lot like the singles scene: some chicks don’t see you; some will give a great conversation. Always, you go home alone.
Trailer Nation
When your neighbor shows up to mandatory drug testing and blows a 0.3, plus has weed and meth in his system. #FredoWang
Donald Trump’s America
Do you know this asshole? The one in the red shirt? I wish I had never crossed paths. Why is he an asshole?
“I’m a horrible person”
I should never have watched Saw or House of 1000 Corpses. Somehow, my Cast Away adventure with Dan Patrick the sportscaster turned into Lord of the Flies with a bunch of crazy ass people. Hungry, amoral, crazy ass people bent on changing my life irreparably.