on a Fucked Up And Stupid weekend in January 1988 when the newlywed Phids blow you off? Visit a frozen great lake and go bowling for beers in Bangor (pronounced bang-(h)er) Michigan. And not have sex with the one girl who showed up, because – duh – she only wants to be your friend.Read more "What to do"
fall 1988Read more "Swamp Run"
Aaah, glorious Philmont. DC 10s, midnight bus rides, long trains to nowhere. On the way home from Santa Fe to Chicago, hang out in the bar car. Watch as your friends (Phid, Bagman and every other horny dork at the table) hit on a little blond girl nicknamed “Ducky” Karma: What’s really scary? That you remember […]Read more "The Philmont Challenge (It Just Doesn’t Matter)"
All crap, all the time, featuring: Trofeo (my new hero Molly) Gremlin (Dribble) Berlinetta (Mrs. Phid (go figure)) Yugo (Kenneth S. Berman, Republican) LeCar* (le français faux for “the car”) (Bagman), and… Pinto’s evil cousin – the “Mustang” II (Pod, Yoko). No it doesn’t prance. but it does fly, with the right inducements.Read more "Oops, I Crapped My… Driveway?"
More stupid college/ frat shit (mostly) A. It’s winter. Everything is covered in snow. Not the big fluffy, flaky stuff. The cold, hard, crystallized snow, that crunches like little ice cubes under your feet. What to do on a snowy night? Kegger! Drive Tom and the other, other Tom to a bash they know about […]Read more "On the Road Again"
Stupid Drunken Things Not To Do Many of these are currently considered illegal, and they are all fictional or my name isn’t Dick R. Brettman. “Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems” – H. Simpson I. Drive el Festiva loco to 8 Barrel and Easy E’s pad for a fix-up party […]Read more "Oh my god, it will never end…"