For Your Convenience

Drugs Sex Violence? Mendoza or Bandaids. Tomato; Tomahto.

Which one belongs to the stripper?

A: Neither. This is at Bandaids, where the strippers spend their tips on bus rides and donuts. And penicillin.

After Fredo’s night at the strip clup

this is the morning after: Truly Nolen, the exterminator people, to the rescue.

Put on your Sunday best.
If you want to meet a classy girl, go where they are likely to be found.
Choose a time when the numbers work in your favor, and when the workday is done and its time for them to cut loose a little.
Buy them exotic drinks that reflect your good taste and sophistication.
Regale them with tales of your fabulous and exciting life.
Wake up from dreaming you have a chance with alive human females, search “goatfucking” on Craigslist, make the call and pray that this time, it’s not a cop on the other end of your weekend entertainment.

Selling wonderful financial products to Hispanics. Model ship not included.

Is this [ed.: the BandAids Show Lounge] heaven? Possibly, but it is in no way Iowa.

I don’t have this car anymore.
I went to bandaids just that one time.
Yes, when I get VIP parking, it’s because the strippers feel like they owe me something extra at the end of the night, but that refers to what happens in the car, not where I parked it. This is day time.
No, not the morning after the night before.
I promised you could come with the next time.
(Yes, I meant that as a double entendre.)