It’s still 2006 here.

Nanner, nanner, nanner. It’s still 2006 here. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not. I do not think 2007 can possibly be weirder. Differently weird. like when I get fired. Or laid. Or some other sort of equally implausible where did that come from event. But not more weird. So […]

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Fuck Ohio

Sports Illustrated’s Top 10 UM – WalMart games since 1950 Lower prices everyday on these Chinese made beer mugs. – Some dead guy Hey assholes.  Where the hell is the 1989 game?  Football scholars universally recognize the 1989 game as the best UM/OSU game ever.  Why?  Because: I was there We won Jarrod Bunch scored […]

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About Damn Time

There is a difference between being told everything is OK and knowing it is. –Popcorn Cliches 101 Without putting too fine of a point on anything, I now know what has been told to me recently. Something just clicked today. Finally.  ‘Bout f***ing time, too. Trust me, this is a groovy thing. “OK,” like “1989 […]

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BEST. DECEMBER. EVER.

It’s true . My kids are happy. I am happy. Really, really. 11/16 – Superior Court signs “Emancipation Proclamation” (Technically not “December,” but it’s like a predicate fact or some s***.) 12/2 – Mad props to Woody & Pod for a fantastic party. E-mail forwarding > *. 12/9 – Ex-Governor Mofford admires my freshly taut […]

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The Bats Don’t F*** Around

In true Weekly World News *style* I offer *proof* that Hunter Thompson wasn’t stoned on the road to Las Vegas. OK, not so much proof as a lame excuse to quote him and blast out a weird photo… We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take […]

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Life’s little Ironies

I have worn glasses since I was two. Really awful glasses.  Coke bottle thick ones. {At least I never wore circular glasses to complete the effect, like Buzzkill did.}  In 1989, I lounged on Daytona Beach with 8Barrel and Easy E, and planted my glasses in the sand and lit smokes with them. As a kid, […]

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The Smoking Lamp Is Lit

STUPID DRUNKEN THINGS NOT TO DO Drive from Daytona to the gator farm in St. Augustine at ludicrous speed. When it’s time to pass the geezers, drive in the oncoming lane, while 8 Barrel and Phid, driving behind you, pass the same car at the same time, on opposite sides. (Mustang GTs can go off-roading, […]

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