So the other day, I dropped in on 8 Barrel and the missus. 8 has a “new” car, a BMW 3 Series E90. It is a 335i, which means somewhere between 306 and 335 bhp. Wifey has an E93 335i – this: Both are hella fast. The 4 door would be my choice for most purposes, except […]
Read more "Life Imitates…Life? BMW 3 Series E90/E93"The apple of my eye doesn’t fall far from the tree, except that sometimes it does. I have a kid – a couple of them, actually. Kid1 was chomping at the bit to get a driver license. Kid1 wanted an Aston for the longest time, because of some mormon vampire chastity book. [Ed.: Twilight] Kid1 […]
Read more "The Apple"that killed this cat – at least not my kid’s curiosity. Cats are safe around the kid, at least when it comes to cars. Kid drives this car:
Read more "It Wasn’t Curiosity"December 1977 for one.
Read more "When Car and Driver Didn’t Suck"If I had to list every car that a pompous jackass drove in alphabetical order, I’d need a book with as many pages as the dictionary to even get half of them recorded on paper. That is why I’m going to provide you with a shorter, revised list of only the most pompous of the […]
Read more "The Pompous Jackass List"This is why you shouldn’t hide your BMW from the NYPD. Some genius thought he’d found the perfect place to park his BMW 5-Series to avoid the long tow arm of the NYPD’s parking enforcement. He was wrong.
Read more "Fancy Parking: you’re doing it wrong"How to turn a chick magnet into a Kent Dorfman mobile. (Or, never let your girlfriend/wife/concubine choose your midlife crisis sports car). White? Really? Now your voluptuous sports car curves make you look like a suppository. Chicks will climb over each other. To get the hell away. “Urban Green”? More like dog barf green, or […]
Read more "Curdled Milk"Swerved to avoid hitting a dog, slammed into another car instead. via Exotic Car Crashes, Porsche, Ferrari, BMW, Mercedes.
Read more "A likely story…"…and it shows. Your rolling creamsicle ads come in lots of different flavors Possibly the flavor is Sour Apple Black and topless like hookers named Apple The color of 8 barrel air cleaners Him: Reddened, like it’s engorged. Her: Stop looking at my boobs or I will take this microphone and Casino Royale your personal […]
Read more "You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history…"