Things Padlock Was Wrong About

1973 Dodge Polara
Mufflers are for the weak
  • That this car was in any way superior to my Fury.
  • Even with my JC Whitney electrical system.
  • Even with it being mechanically identical.
  • That driving this mufflerless shitbox to go be a boy scout leader somehow made me less uncool. Read More

Cereal City Blues

It’s Fall 1983. If you had bothered to attend class, this should have been the start of your junior year in college. Instead, it’s your first semester back: back in school (but it’s at a community college) back home, after a year of unspeakable horrors in the Phi Sigma Kappa house. The BK Lounge is […]

Read more "Cereal City Blues"

Blow Shit Up

1961-1991+ – The Chapter:  Come join.  We own our own house.  We’re not on shitty fraternity village drive.   We’re better than that!  You’ll get laid constantly here. Karma:  No you won’t (there), but you’ll sure try. Later: Karma:  Ok, after 5 years of relentless drunken leg humping, I guess it is OK But I […]

Read more "Blow Shit Up"

A 12 of Falstaff

Campus Beverage/Munchie Mart Kalamazoo
Mister, will you do me a favor?

Is hardly a substitute for a 6 of Stroh’s tall boys, Fredo.  Tiny would agree, if he weren’t dead from double whoppers with cheese.

Just seeing this place (fka Campus Beverage) makes me long for a pack of cheese, some King Ed cigars and a couple quarts of Hamm’s (aka dinner at the Phi Sigma Kappa house).  And setting sterno bums like Fredo on fire to keep warm. (#notintendedasafactualstatement)

Karma:  It’s August.  It’s already warm.
Me:  so is Fredo atm.

Read more "A 12 of Falstaff"

Panic at the drive through

This is what not to do in an AMC Spirit/”AMX”:

  • Never stick 6 people into one of these.  Two is 2 too many
  • Never let Piller drive to the White Castle – there is no time before Pretty Boy’s wedding.
  • Never let Piller act out his sense of outrage at being tapped on the bumper – it was his fault.
  • Also, it’s Detroit.  Your ass is gonna get shot; it’s just a matter of why you deserve it, not whether.
  • Jessie, you really should have asked for the Firebird instead.
Phi Sigma Kappa
NEVER let Karl T. Miller drive

Collectible car show photos: All AMC Car Show, Cecil County Dragway, Rising Sun, MD 2005 Archives.

Read more "Panic at the drive through"