What if…

the White Whale… were more of a Pirahna? Or if the Great Red Shark… were likewise a fucking Pacu (or a Candiru) (Apart from the immense and repeated death under an ether binge)

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What to drive

When your Lincoln, Corvette, Olds 98, and Camaro are not enough.  You obviously need a badass pickup truck.  Failing that,  get this: Whart REALLY completes the ensemble is a flashy light tan over somewhatdarker tan/brown two town paint, just like your Olds.  This guy ^^ is a little too flashy.

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Airstrip One

Oceana has its own police force? Police? I’ve seen these guys before.  I thought it was just some tarted up Tahoes for an emergency drill.  Evidently, it was not just some theoretical disaster scenario pretend force.  These are newer, shinier versions.   It’s real.  Fortunately, their mission is not writing speeding tickets.  (Unless thinking about speeding […]

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What to drive

When it’s 5 a.m. and your 60 year old parents picked you up at Chicago Midway after a redeye.  They want you to drive home. It’s fine, because your bitch (ex-)wife is 2000 miles away.  No price is too great. Yes, Maroon and silver did come from the guy who brought you the newspaper paint […]

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Money is Wasted on the Rich

1967 camaro

This is another of the Chicken king’s stable of rides. (It’s not the actual car: his was original and mint).

It’s not a grail car, because I only rode in it once, and the highlight was not ludicrous speed, driving on the beach, or cruising campus for topless Western babes jumping in to sex me up.  No, the highlight was being ordered to hop out and press the pedestrian button so the light would change faster.  Yes, the true purpose of this pussy magnet ego assuager was once again fulfilled in fine form.

Yay.

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