Cracker and pops, switching out the Zephyr for a different piece of shit. Actually, this was a pretty good car, except that it freaked out at highway speeds. Madonna had to come pick me up one sexathon weekend, somewhere north of Ann Arbor, because it just refused to go faster than 55 – as if it had a governor. Read More
Beers, strip club and plastic. What could possibly go wrong? Pizza & Schooners of Duff Beer at Bilbo’s Pizza – $40 Mom foots the bill, including your bar tab – priceless. (Actually, just the $40, but she doesn’t drink and doesn’t like to pay for your drinks, you beerhound) Lunch with Dad $30 Watching him try […]Read more "For Everything Else, There’s MasterCard"
Really Stupid –As Cracker, karate kick the back of the toilet and break off the water inlet tube. (There IS a technical term for this thing.) Once you do this, the toilet is out of commission. Plus, flooding – BONUS!!! Mom will be so proud! The mechanics are really simple: run down the hall at […]Read more "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights"