Messenger Puppet

My man card is hereby surrendered

Nothing else to say, really.

1971 Chevrolet Vega in drag

Eyelids and sheepskins and whitewalls: Oh my [fucking god]

cocaine and hookers beats amway sales meetings every time

Maybe the 70’s weren’t a complete waste of time after.  Given the choice, I would take the Disco Stu/Larry the Lounge Lizard Monte Carlo over the middle management, I’m late for that widget convention at the airport Super 8 Malibu every single time.  “Progress” can kiss my leopard print covered/Hai Karate scented  ass.

No, it’s not because you could do hookers and blow (simultaneously) on that giant hood.  Well, not ENTIRELY because of that.

Fit and finish is OEM (look at the hatch glass)

Blurrovision, like a UAW assembler on a Monday after the Super Bowl

The Best Damn Fairmont blurb doesn’t technically apply.  Muls had one (green with a tan interior covered entirely by one sheet of shitty cheap plastic – even the seats).  Hummelberg had a newer black one with a T-roof (which acted like a torsion bar, the car was so flexy without its roof on).  Both were shitboxes compared to mine, but compared to IIs, and dorky Fairmonts, they were friggin awesome.  God, were we stupid.

Calling this a "Fury" is heresy

Whitewalls and wheel covers say “no, more like city engineer.  From 1988.”  While this is the best Aspen (nee Valiant) ever, that is like saying a Monarch is the best Ford Falcon, or Olympia beer is the best pre-urine ever.

you’re a bigger idiot that we all thought.

Disco kills everything

1977 Oldsmobile Toronado

P.S. Your leisure suit is on fire, Tony Manero