Messenger Puppet

A Ferrari 308GTS for $13,500, Some Assembly Required.

Behold the last surviving member (if there is a god of cars) of the infamous and shitty GM X-bodies.  A Chevy Citation.  This car wound up being noteworthy for exactly two reasons: Phid’s “club coupe”  version (actually Papa Don’s) was nominally faster than the Fury The shitty Delco radio was vertical.  Woo-Hoo, betamax/bone Phone/8-track technological [...]

This is the best of both worlds, staring me right in the face.  It is a shitbox Mercury Monarch, born not from jets, but from the decomposed, assraped carcass of the 1960 Ford Falcon.  No one will mistake it for a Mercedes, trust me. Granada (Monarch) vs. Mercedes

We know Ford is killing the Mercury brand at the end of the year.  Regardless of the corporate speak about sales and product diversity, we know the real reason: “Meth: Not Even Once” applies doubly to designers.  (See Pontiac Aztek(RIP)).  Word to the wise, Honda.  There are limits.

Or which one would you first drive into a wall?  Which one would you least want to sing Hoobastank about?  If you took more than a SECOND TO THINK ABOUT IT, YOU’RE HOPELESS.  gO BUY A BUS PASS AND TURN IN YOUR MAN CARD.

Out here, rust is a decoration. Back in the mitten, it’s a death sentence

Nothing else to say, really.