Curbhunter Fails

Curbhunter: it’s not for the weak or stupid or poor. Unlike so many other things in my life lately, two of three IS bad. This guy seems to have avoided all three:

  • not poor, because: year old Range Rover
  • not weak, because balls enough to park a Range Rover outside the shithole complex that makes Mesa Ridge Apartments look like luxury condos.
  • Maybe that is stupid.  So is overnight parking in general.  But look in the front seat! A GIANT PUKE BUCKET! That is malice aforethought Eagle Scout like preparation.  You can’t always find a Hill Auditorium trash can when you need one.

Continue reading “Curbhunter Fails”

Who’ll stop the rain?

We had a Christmas party about 10 days ago.  On the way home, one of the secretaries (Sharon) had a small issue with the car in front of her.  This was the result.

wrecked Altima wrecked Altima

But that is just the start of the problem. It never rains but it pours.

Continue reading “Who’ll stop the rain?”

Too Close To Home

In every sense.

I’m driving the thing that is not a  redRam 1500 with a Hemi and a touchscreen that I REALLY want car to the office. Around the corner, I see a parked Camry with a critical ass implosion. It’s like my neighbors’ kids after one of their constant DR calls.  Plus it’s a Camry: a crash is an improvement.

camry crash
oddly familiar

But I keep driving. Slowly. The debris field around the car is unsettling.  Then I remember.  I know this story.  I lived it.  It’s actually never that far out of mind. Continue reading “Too Close To Home”

Disco Inferno

Burn baby burn…

Yesterday morning an older gentleman named Bill called our establishment saying he had a car he needed to sell, he told me he had a “pristine 2006 Mercedes CLK 500 that was being transported from CA to FL along with a Porsche, a GT-R, a Ferrari and a BMW. The truck was involved in some sort of fire but I don’t know how badly the car was damaged. It might be just some smoke damage.

Porsche 356 toast

Yes, there is definitely some smoke damage.

Ferrari 458

This $600,000 Porsche/Ferrari/M5 Totaling Fire Will Make You Cry.

NOT ME: The one about college driving

Subaru involved in a car chase early this morning. According to CUPD, 22-year-old Jennifer Greer was behind the wheel of the car and was arrested.(University of Colorado Police Department)

CU-Boulder police: Student led officers on drunken car chase, lost wheel on U.S. 36 – Boulder Daily Camera.

At 1:04 a.m. today, an officer on foot patrol near the Benson Earth Sciences building spotted a Subaru Outback driving on a sidewalk with two flat tires. The officer attempted to wave down the driver, identified by CU police as Jennifer Greer, 22, but Greer continued to drive east on Colorado Avenue toward 28th Street.
Continue reading “NOT ME: The one about college driving”

Fredo Wang: Mercury, Metamucil and Meister Brau

Kalamazoo man defecates on car after downing 20 beers and crashing into several vehicles in downtown parking ramp |

KALAMAZOO — A 26-year-old Kalamazoo man was arrested Tuesday after drinking 20 beers, hitting 8 cars and and defecating on one of the vehicle inside the downtown parking ramp for the Radisson Plaza Hotel & Suites.

… the man told officers he was feeling depressed, went to the top of the Radisson ramp at 100 N. Rose St. and drank 20 beers to “get enough courage to commit suicide,” Uridge said.
The man, whose name has not been released, then proceeded to drove out of the ramp and struck eight vehicles, causing $75,000 worth of damage.
The man then got on top of a car and defecated on it, Uridge said.
Uridge said the man was arrested at about 3 p.m. on suspicion of drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level of 0.17 or higher, which under state law is called “super drunk.”