The one about the girl with a Prius
Q: How long has it been since I went this long without a beer? Not that I’m counting. Last time it was in the aftermath of Olde English 800 HG after Crazytown “refused” to break up with me when I broke up with her. Yes, WTFWIT? St. Ides or nothing. This time, it was the fact […]
Read more "Alex Trebek: 600 days"TigerDirect.com: please enjoy this new Droid X. It’s free! We just need a little info to coordinate with Verizon. Me: No prob. Free kicks ass. later… Verizon: Thank you for changing your email. Me: WTF? later…
Read more "Crazy Never Sleeps"OK,. this is the last of these. A year ago was the end of a giant month of shit. The last weekend was worst. Friday – battery and threats Saturday – no more pretense of normalcy for the kids, attempted seduction, more threatening behavior when that failed. Thank goodness my phone didn’t go off.
Read more "That time of the month"You’re not hitting me again. Not with my kid at the other end of the house. Not in any other scenario. Not ever again.
Read more "Not this year"Fireplaces and puppies and love kick ass, compared to this. Some notes from a year ago [Edited for spelling and punctuation and anonymity]: 12/2/09 – ****** relates finding an an ex-con on Zoosk who “winked” at her profile on line. She suggested that that gentleman or his associates from prison would enjoy meeting me and […]
Read more "Warm is better"Her: You must have fucked a hooker in Vegas, because you looked at a cat at the exact same moment I accused you of this bullshit. Me: It was trying to hump my leg. Me: *walks out*
Read more "A window into the past"A propos of nothing except wow, what a different world… Ross (to Rachel): We were on a break! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Read more "A year already?"Last weekend marked one year since a shared office became my exclusive domain. Over the next few weeks, I listened to a bunch of bullshit about how little time elapsed between emancipation and SEMA, and how it was more like one weekend, but it was actually three, plus the weekdays in between. All I know […]
Read more "What a long, strange trip it’s been…"Dateline one year ago: Done Oh no you’re not Yes, yes I am Then, consternation and consumption of mass quantities.
Read more "What a long, strange trip it’s been"I just want to wish you good luck for your lonely pathetic future – as I am quite sure that NO-ONE will put up with your selfish bullshit like I did for TWO FUCKING YEARS (I want those years back) And don’t forget Baby that I love you with all of my heart. And by […]
Read more "Has it been a year already?"