Tag Archive for One Big Happy

Adventures in Bitchcraft

Bitching about something...

Friday, December 07, 2012 5:40 PM I need a receipt (not a copy of your check, a receipt from the school showing the charges) for the “required” fees for marching band. [Translation:  You're a "liar."] I will only be paying for the required marching band classes.  Winter guard is not required for P.E. credit (I…

Oh good lord, what now?

raoul.jpg

Don’t ever get married with children because divorce is completely fucked up, volume 999 August Ex: I want another day, so I can have 8 hours (Weds. and another) with my kid during the week and 7 on the weekend. But not Fridays.  Or Saturdays. Me:  OK – you’re mom after all.  That works out…

Whoops, Your Fault

Bitching about something...

Eight and a half years ago, I started this den of loons.  I had had web pages over the years before, but there was this new, stupidly named thing called a blog, and I thought, “what the fuck?”  I needed a place to dump my brain.  I needed a place with more permanence than Facebook…

F*** you, Man

Bitching about something...

Sorry. No names, to protect my ass from getting sanctioned. It goes a little bit like this: August 2005: Me: This “marriage” is a fail.  Sorry.  So long and thanks for all the fish. Her: I’ll take the kids and your check. You keep the house because it costs more.  You keep the critters, because…

If I Grew Up to Be My Dad

Mercury Zephyr Z-7

This should be me, except that I already did the blue on blue Zephyr part of his and I already did the yellow Fairmont.  OTOH, paint aside, this is basically the car I learned to drive a stick shift with (at least without the DUI part).  

Life imitates… life?

Dodge Grand Caravan Sport:  Family Truckster

A million years ago, my Hyundai was a piece of shit, and the wife wanted a minivan.  A $27,000 7 passenger minivan.  Why that one?  Because the second row had built in booster seats.  Any van could have managed the soccer mom, grocery getter jobs, but we needed a palatial stretch with painted bumpers and…

Blow shit up

Ship's log, stardate 4041.2. Chief Engineer Scott recording. Captain Kirk and his landing party have checked in, but they have used the code term Condition Green, which means they're in trouble. But it also prohibits my taking any action.

Destruct sequence 1, code 1, 1A Destruct sequence 2, code 1, 1A, 2B Destruct sequence 3, code 1B, 2B, 3 Code 0 0 0, destruct 0 The first four texts when the ban went to the honor system.  Evidently.

I’ll take collossal mistakes for $27,000

My man card is hereby surrendered

2000 Wife:  I hate this car – it’s old. Wife:  We could get a minivan. Wife: Here’s a minivan with built in booster seats so Kid # 2 doesn’t inconvenience us with moving the booster from one car to the other. It’s only $10,000 more than the base model and only $15,000 more than a…

1977 Mercury Monarch

1977 Mercury Monarch

What the hell was wrong with us in the 70s? Ford Falcon chassis (basically) – is this what the Mustang would have become, if it didn’t turn into a Pinto? 250 OHV I-6 from a John Deere It had a 4 speed stick (unless it was a 3) Was unable to handle golf balls from,…