Tag Archive for One Big Happy

The War Council is disbanded. – Me, after a frank and refreshing talk with the ex-Mrs.

Bitching about something...

Whoops, Your Fault

Eight and a half years ago, I started this den of loons.  I had had web pages over the years before, but there was this new, stupidly named thing called a blog, and I thought, “what the fuck?”  I needed a place to dump my brain.  I needed a place with more permanence than Facebook and other yet-to-be-invented bullshit. And,…

Bitching about something...

F*** you, Man

Sorry. No names, to protect my ass from getting sanctioned. It goes a little bit like this: August 2005: Me: This “marriage” is a fail.  Sorry.  So long and thanks for all the fish. Her: I’ll take the kids and your check. You keep the house because it costs more.  You keep the critters, because they cost more.  And require…

Life imitates… life?

2000 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport

A million years ago, my Hyundai was a piece of shit, and the wife wanted a minivan.  A $27,000 7 passenger minivan.  Why that one?  Because the second row had built in booster seats.  Any van could have managed the soccer mom, grocery getter jobs, but we needed a palatial stretch with painted bumpers and a useless spoiler in order to get the bucket seats that folded down into boosters, so that kid 2 didn’t need a separate booster seat.

(Yes, I went along with this bullshit.  Mea culpa. I didn’t do the math and I hoped to get laid out of the deal.

Karma:  What a shock.

Or at least rank higher than the kids.)

I’ll take collossal mistakes for $27,000

2000 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport

My man card is hereby surrendered

2000

Wife:  I hate this car – it’s old.
Wife:  We could get a minivan.
Wife: Here’s a minivan with built in booster seats so Kid # 2 doesn’t inconvenience us with moving the booster from one car to the other. It’s only $10,000 more than the base model and only $15,000 more than a year old used one.
Car Salesman: You can lease it for three years @ $479 a month!
Wife: Yay!
Me: *maybe I’ll get laid out of this*