The more things change…

Email to ex, yesterday, 9 am: Please tell your BF to stop calling Monkey “shorty.”  It bugs her and the Bear. [more words, more diplomatic] frantic text from monkey, yesterday at 5: You told Mom we hate her?  WTF?  Brilliant, Dad.  Thanks so much for screwing up our lives. Patient reply from me: No, I […]

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1983 Chevrolet S-10

1983 Chevrolet S-10
What’s black and white and red all over? A POS mistake is what.

Ordered from the factory this way, with a special order cap.  If only online configurators existed to forewarn of such mistakes.  What else is there to say, really? (Besides “please god make it stop”)

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Dodge Crew Cab

What the hell was wrong with us in the 70s?

Dodge Crew Cab
Creamsicle or Dorkmobile?
  • Crew cab.  Those were not cool then (like they are now).   It’s an afterthought.
  • Orange over tan, with a white roof?  WTF.  Tri-tones went out in the 50s.
International Harvester Dodge Crew Cab
the cap is still dorky

Ok, maybe it’s white, not tan

  • Dork mirrors?  (Yes, I know these were not invented yet.)
  • That cap.  Jeez.  There are worse.  I always liked the over-cab camper.
  • My Mustang has bigger tires.  And better wheels.
  • No, it ain’t got a hemi.  Not even close.
  • Oh look! An International Havester trucklet!
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1985 Dodge Omni

1985 Dodge Omni
Doesn’t GLH: 2.2L of badly running crap

Cracker and pops, switching out the Zephyr for a different piece of shit. Actually, this was a pretty good car, except that it freaked out at highway speeds. Madonna had to come pick me up one sexathon weekend, somewhere north of Ann Arbor, because it just refused to go faster than 55 – as if it had a governor. Read More


13? What the bloody h***? Something is just not right here. It was just like a month ago the APGAR thing was done and I was giving the Bear her first earth meal ever while watching the Dave Letterman Top 10 (no atmosphere/mood music in that room), then giving her a first peek at the […]

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How to tell your daughter…

that Santa is not giving her the sleigh/horse/2 doll (dolls sold separately) thing she saw on TV that costs $450.00(!)   From: Mr. Kris Kringle [] Sent: Friday, December 08, 2006 12:07 PM To: Subject: FW: American Girls product shortages Dear [SWEET CHILD O’ MINE]: I received your request for American Girls Complete Sleigh […]

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