I swear this is not me, Lurlene

For one, I never go out without my hubcaps. Safe wheels and all that…
  1. I don’t have this car anymore.
  2. I went to bandaids just that one time.
  3. Yes, when I get VIP parking, it’s because the strippers feel like they owe me something extra at the end of the night, but that refers to what happens in the car, not where I parked it.  This is day time.
  4. No, not the morning after the night before.
  5. I promised you could come with the next time.
  6. (Yes, I meant that as a double entendre.)
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I’ll take collossal mistakes for $27,000

2000 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport
My man card is hereby surrendered


Wife:  I hate this car – it’s old.
Wife:  We could get a minivan.
Wife: Here’s a minivan with built in booster seats so Kid # 2 doesn’t inconvenience us with moving the booster from one car to the other. It’s only $10,000 more than the base model and only $15,000 more than a year old used one.
Car Salesman: You can lease it for three years @ $479 a month!
Wife: Yay!
Me: *maybe I’ll get laid out of this*

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Sarah Palin’s America

It’s a Ram – She likes it rough, horny and goat smelling No truck balls – She wears the pants and the strap on. No rear window – who gives a shit.  She imagines what she can see from her windows already.  Why cloud that picture with facts? Wonder why the license is on the […]

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Cop or Not

Whitewalls and wheel covers say “no, more like city engineer.  From 1988.”  While this is the best Aspen (nee Valiant) ever, that is like saying a Monarch is the best Ford Falcon, or Olympia beer is the best pre-urine ever.

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Name that Car

Yeah, I know – it says “Charger.”  Look closer. the buttresses and side windows look like ’60s Chrysler. Amber turn signals before the 80s? (The Granada versions in the 70s were fakes) No outside mirror? Inside mirror pointed to the right? I believe we have an Aussie in our midst, the Charger 770.  Smelling the […]

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