the spontaneous beer free (so far) August has been great, but not without its issues. Coors N/A is like quitting smoking, in terms of its you ate too much cheese and no fiber effect. Then there’s the dreams. Last night’s triple feature” sharks in Michigan. Yes, stupidly taunting them was involved. Fortunately, there was a scene […]
So it’s tax day. Take the day off from the job that has no work. Take the day off from the shitshow that keeps you alive. Do your fucking taxes. Before that, crash at 10 on the couch. Oh fuck, is it time to get up? Nah, it’s just midnight. Go to bed. Now it’s […]
I should never have watched Saw or House of 1000 Corpses. Somehow, my Cast Away adventure with Dan Patrick the sportscaster turned into Lord of the Flies with a bunch of crazy ass people. Hungry, amoral, crazy ass people bent on changing my life irreparably.
blind parkour leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper and family gatherings where Buzzkill can not only get the joke, she can tell her own. Also, the entire family thinks you are headed for a homeless shelter – no, you can’t just go live in Mom’s basement. What happens in your warped mental kingdom when your late […]
You and your “get yourself another beer.” And your “yeah, you can take a couple with you.” A girl gave me her phone number. I probably shouldn’t have called her. I had a different girl’s number; she had the sense not to pick up. Texting Pro Tip: texting “sleeping” means you’re not. By this point, […]
I have a hard job. The pay is low for the qualifications they require. It is also an exempt position – no overtime, no breaks on the clock [Ed.: recently changed.]. They only pay for time they can bill to someone. That’s all fine. Where it went off the track is last night. I was sitting […]