The Joy of Being Me

So it’s tax day. Take the day off from the job that has no work. Take the day off from the shitshow that keeps you alive. Do your fucking taxes. Before that, crash at 10 on the couch. Oh fuck, is it time to get up? Nah, it’s just midnight. Go to bed. Now it’s […]

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Killer Clowns

blind parkour leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper  and family gatherings where Buzzkill can not only get the joke, she can tell her own. Also, the entire family thinks you are headed for a homeless shelter – no, you can’t just go live in Mom’s basement. What happens in your warped mental kingdom when your late […]

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Goddam You, Ray

You and your “get yourself another beer.” And your “yeah, you can take a couple with you.” A girl gave me her phone number. I probably shouldn’t have called her. I had a different girl’s number; she had the sense not to pick up. Texting Pro Tip: texting “sleeping” means you’re not. By this point, […]

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Who Programs This Crap?

I have a hard job. The pay is low for the qualifications they require. It is also an exempt position – no overtime, no breaks on the clock [Ed.: recently changed.]. They only pay for time they can bill to someone. That’s all fine.  Where it went off the track is last night. I was sitting […]

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