Killer Clowns

blind parkour leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper  and family gatherings where Buzzkill can not only get the joke, she can tell her own. Also, the entire family thinks you are headed for a homeless shelter – no, you can’t just go live in Mom’s basement. What happens in your warped mental kingdom when your late […]

Read more "Killer Clowns"

Goddam You, Ray

You and your “get yourself another beer.” And your “yeah, you can take a couple with you.” A girl gave me her phone number. I probably shouldn’t have called her. I had a different girl’s number; she had the sense not to pick up. Texting Pro Tip: texting “sleeping” means you’re not. By this point, […]

Read more "Goddam You, Ray"

Who Programs This Crap?

I have a hard job. The pay is low for the qualifications they require. It is also an exempt position – no overtime, no breaks on the clock [Ed.: recently changed.]. They only pay for time they can bill to someone. That’s all fine.  Where it went off the track is last night. I was sitting […]

Read more "Who Programs This Crap?"

What a Difference Beer Makes

I wake up on the floor. Not hungover, but buck naked like whiskey was in my recent past. And I am in suburban Detroit. I don’t remember being on a flight. There is someone’s pink robe, but it doesn’t cover everything. There is also a blanket  for a makeshift kilt.  That will make the apology […]

Read more "What a Difference Beer Makes"