Messenger Puppet

How to say “my penis is small and ineffectual” without driving a beet red Viper or a 4″ lifted diesel F350 with a train horn.  (Ed.: The parking says it, not the car.) This Is Why People Think Lotus Drivers Are Asshats.

Reason 412:  Take this ad to your local Buick dealer for a free test drive of the new 1985 Buick Electra Your local Buick dealer:  You’re under 60 Savage Henry:  And? Your local Buick dealer:  This one in the showroom is our only one SH:  And? Your local Buick dealer:  Ir will cost us $40 [...]

What’s wrong with this picture?  Mostly nothing, except the old man is a dumbass: cheap gas in a Bentley.  Karma will visit you down the road cell phone at the pump?  Maybe karma will get here a little early…

nice gills The giant badge on the ass says “Carlsson.” On further review, Carlsson just means a couple grand of plastic shit.  It has big ass gills, which excuses everything, right?

Unfortunately. Porsche suppository Panamera at Barrett Jackson 2010

diddle dee doo There they are all standing in a row Black ones, red ones, one with a $5,000 crack in its dash requiring a windshield removal to repair… True story:  I’m at the dashboard place getting a thing for my other thing.  This guy with a British accent speeds up in a Series III [...]

Or what million dollar stakes earns you in Vegas (besides hookers and blow):  land yachts to take you wherever you want to go.  And, of course, RIGHT BACK TO YOUR FAVORITE CASINO RIGHT HERE, SIR!!! Meanwhile, farther down (up?) the Strip…

I will buy your house today 800-730-3311 Dear future slumlord: Your efforts speak for themselves.  New Detroit thanks you. xxoo Clarence Boddicker

Some Jokes Just Write Themselves: –That’ll buff right out –Mitt Romney takes the Blues Brothers movie a bit too seriously HT: Autoblog

HT: Autoblog