Not so stupid after all

now that gas is headed to $3… This is June 1990 at the 8 Barrel ranch. At this point, the Festiva has suffered a critical ass implosion, which is wholly unrelated to 30 foot anacondas. Hence the 70 hp Suzuki Swift to the right. 1988 Festiva L Plus. Plus what? Plus a truck enema. 12/88-6/90 […]

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Oops, I Crapped My… Driveway?

All crap, all the time, featuring: Trofeo (my new hero Molly) Gremlin (Dribble) Berlinetta (Mrs. Phid (go figure)) Yugo (Kenneth S. Berman, Republican) LeCar* (le français faux for “the car”) (Bagman), and… Pinto’s evil cousin – the “Mustang” II (Pod, Yoko). No it doesn’t prance. but it does fly, with the right inducements.

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Oh my god, it will never end…

Stupid Drunken Things Not To Do Many of these are currently considered illegal, and they are all fictional or my name isn’t Dick R. Brettman. “Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems” – H. Simpson I. Drive el Festiva loco to 8 Barrel and Easy E’s pad for a fix-up party […]

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The Smoking Lamp Is Lit

STUPID DRUNKEN THINGS NOT TO DO Drive from Daytona to the gator farm in St. Augustine at ludicrous speed. When it’s time to pass the geezers, drive in the oncoming lane, while 8 Barrel and Phid, driving behind you, pass the same car at the same time, on opposite sides. (Mustang GTs can go off-roading, […]

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