or rather do the crow’s nest in, from the back seat, as Pod eases through a sea of drunk Greek assholes and wenches. Then later, get out among your people and cop some feels.
Read more "What to drive"What to drive
Firebird
1967 Pontiac Firebird
What NOT to drive
to your prom, because: Your cousin said, “oh fuck no” when you asked to borrow his. You didn’t go anyway. You only had about $3 for gas until payday as it was.
Read more "What NOT to drive"God: Your car sucks, Noah
Lemme fix it for ya Surf’s Way, Way Up. God: An Esprit? Really? Not even a V-8 Trans Am? Noah: We build Excrement Excitement?
Read more "God: Your car sucks, Noah"Animal House
I understood why the girls of “A Chi O” would not associate with us, just as I understood the privilege of the Alpha Phi’s deigning to appear at a joint party with Phi Sigma Kappa and the Fijis.
- Money. They had it, we didn’t.
- Class. They wished, we didn’t.
But the girls of “Chi O”? Hanging with them was almost as impossible – once, maybe twice a year. The Phi Mus would be over in a heartbeat. The DZs were always up for a good time, and the AOPies were usually good sports. But Chi O?
It couldn’t be the money – they rented out a dorm from Western after losing their house.
It couldn’t be that or class, as this parking lot shows:
- 1977 base Firebird – equivalent to Pretty Boy. Also mostly shit.
- 1978 AMC Concord – complete shit
- 1978 Ford Fiesta – same as Sheen. Not complete shit, but cheap.
- 1979 Ford Pinto – slightly less explosive than Piller’s Pinto, but still beyond complete shit
- 1979 4 cyl Mustang – same as Gingerman and Hummelberg. Also, just a shitty truncated Fairmont.
You girls weren’t even Bimmer-driving poseurs, so what gives? It’s me drunk humping the legs of everyone on your executive board, isn’t it? (That or the fact that the Tekes and their ample doobage supplies were a lot closer.)
Read more "Animal House"1977 Pontiac Firebird Esprit
I have known a few GM F-Bodies in my time: Pod’s Trans Am, Phid’s Camaro Berlinetta. The Firebird “Esprit” is a different sort of catch. We thought they were cool in the ’70s, even with the automotive equivalent of a comb over, the front half vinyl roof. Not as cool as Trans Ams or Z-28s, mind you, more of a hot secretary kind of cool. Read More
Barrett-Jackson 2008: It Jumps the Shark
A Fairmont Continental? (I was going to bitch about the Riv until I read its story) Read More
The stuff of nightmares
1979 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am
Yes, the name is long. What’s really said is that after spitting it out, the car still isn’t up to 60, unless you started at 55. My cousin Al had one that he bought new.
Read more "1979 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am"