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“Service is our #1 priority”

Service to our favorite strip club that is. Neither of us gives a shit that you took a cab home. Your Cordoba is soiling our parking lot with its ugliness. That ends now.

I’ll take collossal mistakes for $27,000

Nothing else to say, really.

Karma is a sick bitch

A post about mutants triggers the Newsmax Is Sarah Palin a savant? push poll in unrelated stories, the secretary who does NOT work for me (she works for Manny) is showing about 90% more cleavage than usual, and there is a an appointment downstairs who is “dumb, dizty,  and hot! A man’s dream come true!” [...]

Some Jokes Just Write Themselves

Beaver Nut Scrub Wet hands first One push only Try it! HT: 8 Barrel

FOUFCFK right back at ya

Dear Dr. Gonzo: This letter is in response to your recent personalized plate request.  The combination of letters [foufcfk]that you requested could be perceived as having a connotation that may be offensive or misleading to the public.  As a result, your plate has been held and will be forwarded to the MVD Personalized Plate Review [...]

I’ve got a love-e-ly bunch of coconuts…

diddle dee doo There they are all standing in a row Black ones, red ones, one with a $5,000 crack in its dash requiring a windshield removal to repair… True story:  I’m at the dashboard place getting a thing for my other thing.  This guy with a British accent speeds up in a Series III [...]

Take your kid to work day?

Note to “What’s in a name?” – it’s from an email, and obviously the Internet before that.  Also, I cropped it.  FOAD.

Ford: I guess we DO need you as a customer after all…

Motorcraft battery:  It’s Arizona, it’s been two years.  I am dead. Me:  Thanks for the warning.  What to do, what to do? Ford three year bumper to bumper warranty: Well, FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE we’d like you to call roadside assistance, who will dispatch a tow truck (hopefully not these guys) to bring your prized car [...]

Isn’t It Ironic…

Coming Soon (behind this fence):  Walgreens Across the street right this very minute:  Walgreens. Walgreens – where “one on ‘every corner’” is not just a metaphor, it’s our exact business plan.

For Your "Convenience": Why Does Budget Rent A Car Hate America?

In our last episode, Budget Rent A Car inside Fry’s did not have anyone at their service counter, because some guy was washing the salesman and hooker smell from a Dodge Penis Compensator Charger.  How “convenient.” Today, still washing, but there is a second guy there to actually service the customers. No sign stating “I [...]