Generation of Swine? No, Morons.

My lunch, earlier this week: Cranky Old Man: Hello Wendy’s. I would like some crap food. Wendy: We have that!That will be $3.22! Cranky Old Man: OK, here is a 5, a quarter and two pennies.

Asswipe Fail

The paper is gone, but get your tetanus shot, a master key and a weight belt before refilling. On the bright side, Superior AZ HAS protected the little cardboard tube pretty thoroughly. Nice work. (what’s that mysterious spatter on the wall, though? wait, nevermind)

Drugs Sex Violence? Mendoza or Bandaids. Tomato; Tomahto.

There’s Only One Right Way

to say it: it’s NOT “ora-gaan” “ore-gone” or “South Washington”

Tow away — BACKED IN and improperly parked vehicles will be towed immediately at owner’s expense

Really?

You’re telling me how to park my car? Are your residents that stupid or weak or economically dependent that they agree to this bullshit?
Your 3 seconds of potential inconvenience in checking plates is worth a $400 threat? Really? Who the fuck WANTS to park in your shitty lot that doesn’t live there? Read More

Eat the Rich

Lamborghini Gallardo: Italian for fuel efficiency. (HT: http://www.facebook.com/Autoblog)

For your convenience

Quick Sign Parking ONLY OR: $2.00 Per Hour for Others Pay Inside Before Parking You had me until that last line. Pay inside before parking? Exactly how do I do that, short of entering your parking lot in order to read this sign, then DRIVING INTO Parking elsewhare and walking into YOUR FUCKING STORE to prepay […]

Cameraphones are the Devil

Giant Mall: Have some VIP tickets to an early screening of the new Leo movie, Inception. Harkins: Yup, you’re on the list Douchebag at the theater door: Wait here, while I seat every other person waiting! Harkins: *friendly banter*

“Service is our #1 priority”

Service to our favorite strip club that is. Neither of us gives a shit that you took a cab home. Your Cordoba is soiling our parking lot with its ugliness. That ends now.

delivery in rear only sign — Delivery In Rear Only

It’s one thing if you are Hispanic in Selma, Arizona and quite another if you are a meth head hooker. Or your name is Lurlene.

Messenger Puppet

Indulge Your Inner Weirdo

For Your “Convenience”