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Johnny Blaze

TC:  What did you do wrong? Crabs:  I took your truck without asking. TC: What else? Crabs:  I drove it to Ann Arbor TC: What else? Crabs: …while fucked up. TC: What else? Crabs:  …and I took the keg TC: What else? Crabs: … and three frat brothers TC: What else? Crabs:  …and we stole [...]

Animal House

I understood why the girls of “A Chi O” not associating with us, just as I understood the privilege of the Alpha Phi’s deigning to appear at a joint party with us and the Fijis. Money.  They had it, we didn’t. Class.  They wished, we didn’t. But the girls of “Chi O”?  Hanging with them [...]

Frat Party Flashback

Cruising into work this morning  (at a snail’s pace – thanks again, photo radar!!) and this song comes on the radio… What a stupid piece of shit song, right?  Well, it’s also nostalgic (in a pathetic, demented sort of way). first time I heard it was at the FSK house (at a kegger – big [...]

Kid Rock, Walmart, trailer parks and Ohio. MULLETS ROOL!!!

Man, were we stupid in in the 1980s. Few were immune. Phid’s bro’:  he is partially excused because his was free.  But, it was a Berlinetta, and not a Z or IROC, so he fails. I rented one  a couple of times for fraternity banquets – base model, and I (not coincidentally) never got laid [...]

Get a Date, Don’t Be Late

Tickets to Founders Day Banquet: $20 Ride with some goof named Al: Free Getting a semi-hot date you have absolutely no chance of scoring with 40 minutes before the party starts?: $20 (for the tickets, dipshit). You can get shot down for free anytime you want, and pretty much every time you don’t want. Cheesy [...]

Chevrolet Camaro Berlinetta

Where I saw one: In front of Dr. Happy Finish’s office complex, down the street from the Polynesian Massage therapist. Nostalgia factor: -3/10 Baseline: 0, since I never personally owned one. -10 for being a Camaro. Woo hoo, Mustangs. Yee hah! -4 for being a Chevy. Fords rule, bitches. +1 for ditching the crappy fiberglass [...]

ACID FLASHBACK THURSDAY: Good Night, Sweet Prince

“Now cracks a noble oil pan heart. Good-night sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to the junk yard thy rest.” – Horatio Caine on Mel Gibson (Hamlet, act V, scene ii) It was 20 years ago today (give or take) that the 1976 Mercury Marquis bit it. CMU came to town to get [...]

RIP, Senator Blutarski

After 25 years, John Belushi is still dead. We forgive you for Neighbors and 1941. xxoo the world

Jody No. 2

The cute one. Well, the first cute one.  Jody #3 was pretty hot, too. she transferred to “my” BK Lounge – Immediate OMG reaction. Live with Jody was Party Central: Friday Night Videos with 8 barrel and Jody’s cute roommate.  “Sharp Dressed Man” beats “Billie Jean” every time. Rocky Horror Picture Show with 8, Carrie [...]

It was the 80s

that is the only plausible excuse…