A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

Cass Corridor’s Infamous Temple Hotel Finally Bites the Dust – Demolition Watch – Curbed Detroit

Pour one out for the Temple Hotel. The storied safe haven for prostitution, drugs, and other historic mainstays of the Cass Corridor was demolished today, emitting what had to be an especially disgusting plume of dust.

Yes, R.I.P. you biohazardous den of iniquity.  Little did we know back in 1988 that we were parking the complete absence of pussy wagon right next to you.  We’d have paid more attention to the hookers. [Ed.: the wear Kevlar kind of attention, not the invent a new strain of herpes AIDS simplex X kind.]

At least you died in order to be reborn for something important: as disinfected homeless housing an expanded power plant to donate electricity to some billionaire, instead of being swallowed up in the Rapture apocalypse like a common whorehouse.

Jimmy’s Got a Gun

Deja Vu All Over Again – My little one has some teen (and other) angst going on for a while now, and thinks the path to peace is following the example of the older sibling a few years ago.  The whys and whethers and if/when to call in FEMA are for another time Highlander.


Just to make my job in piloting the Minnow more impossible, my neighbors have elevated the freakshow quotient of the status quo.  In good news, Jimmy and Timmy Wang no longer couch surf across the street – they couch surf in Jimmy’s minor daughter’s 1 BR apartment.  In bad news, they’re STILL both across the street all the time, to mooch food and beer. And now they’re packing. Continue reading “Jimmy’s Got a Gun”

Fredo Wang: the StifMeister

Pussy wagon What the hell is the point of painting “pussy wagon” on the tailgate of this Dodge truck?

For the longest time, some Dodge truck trims were called “Power Wagons.”  Then Chrysler started calling their trucks “Dodge Ram.”  A couple years ago, they dropped the “Dodge” in favor of simply “Ram.”  With that history as a backdrop (notwithstanding the whole “ram”/”[just try to] dodge [the] ram” innuendo), what do we think the message is? Continue reading “Fredo Wang: the StifMeister”


Derek Jackson Pulled Over for DUI — While Driving Forklift Down Scottsdale Road at 2 a.m.

A Scottsdale man pulled over for DUI told police he was just trying to get home from a party when he was pulled over on Scottsdale Road around 2:30 a.m. yesterday… Jackson was driving a forklift that he had just stolen from a construction site outside Scottsdale Fashion Square mall… Jackson did not have an explanation for why he was driving a forklift, but claimed he was just trying to get home.According to information provided by Scottsdale police, Jackson “appeared disoriented and seemed to be under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs.”

In other words, he was “fucked up and stupid.”  Call us when you’re ready for the big leagues, kid.   Here’s how the pros do it:

  • broad daylight
  • witnesses (who won’t rat you out due to the awesomeness of the stunt)
  • Wheels?  Who needs wheels.  Heavy equipment is what gets the girls.  Bulldozers.

George, George, George of the Jungle

Watch out for that tree…

Phoenix Man With Weed in Pocket Walks Head-First Into Tree for Saddest Arrest of 2013.

Phoenix police officers watched as Melton hit his head on the tree, and apparently thought it was so bad that they stopped to make sure Melton was okay. Police asked for Melton’s name and date of birth during the “course of conversation,” according to a probable-cause statement, but police couldn’t find records of anyone with that name in Arizona. Melton then admitted his real name and birth-date, saying that he lied because he had a felony warrant out for his arrest. Melton was arrested at that point, and admitted that he had a weed pipe in his pocket. Police also found a bag of pot on Melton during a search.