Powderworks

Apropos of nothing…

There’s a shit storm a’coming
I feel it coming soon
There’s a time and a place
And a moment in space
When the fat boys call the tune
There’s a bubble a’bouncing
And it’s bouncing my way
There’s two sticks in the powderworks
I think its gonna blow today

There’s a shit storm a’coming
Somebody claiming some I.O.U.’s?
Because the the man’s intact and the animal’s back
They had a gun at my head and a knife at my back
Don’t wind me up too tight
I’ve been had by the balls all my life
I’m in no mood now to stop dead and talk it over

CHORUS
I don’t need no fire and brimstone warning
I’m a life time punching bag
I won’t run no race where there ain’t no prize
By the look in your face
I can tell there ain’t no lies?

There’s a shit storm a’coming
They’re getting in for one free bite
I was taken by surprise
By the glint in the eyes, that sweet campaign
Smelling strongly of lies
You’re the original Mr. Clean
But the close-ups make you look awful mean
You’re just a con-man raving
Saying nothing new

CHORUS

what the cool 11 year olds are listening to…

Now playing: Papa RoachScars

Now playing: The KillersMr. Brightside

Now playing: My Chemical RomanceI’m Not Okay (I Promise)

Now playing: My Chemical RomanceHelena (So Long & Goodnight)

Now playing: Sex PistolsAnarchy in the UK (I helped with this one)

Now playing: Linkin ParkNumb / Encore

Now playing: EminemMockingbird

Me: WTF?

MDF 2005

So its the 20th anniversary of MDF give or take a couple of very hazy years, and about the 23rd anniversary of their evil progenitors. I celebrated last night with Miller High Life and Marlboro Lights. (Yes, Merit Ultra Lights (SPP) or Player Menthols (MDF) would have been more authentic. STFU) One of each was all I could stand. Man, did people have shitty ass tastes in the 80s.

Anyway, I browsed through a site on Band Name Origins and a site on history of fake bands. Plus, some sh*tty band name generators.

(It was theme surfing night or something and I was frickin’ bored, OK?)

Somehow, original, fake and shitty all coalesced into asking myself what would a sane person might call these crappy ass, fake, “disbanded before public humiliation” “bands” if they were dreamt up in some smoky basement today? After numerous attempts (Blunderbuss, The Hand Jobs, Fuckstain, Evil Pussycat, Lenny, Sloth, Spay Aiken and the Gerbil Experience) all I could settle on, all that truly captured the utter lack of substance these “bands” represent was “And Shit.” Edgy, vulgar, semi-incoherent and meaningless, plus certain to get redacted in tight-ass venues. Invaluable MP exposure.

Imagine the cool intros: You wanted the best, you got the best, the hottest band in the world, And Shit. Imagine the fun. [Audience: OK, so who is it, and shit?]  Imagine the zany and all too likely outros:

  • “You guys fucking suck. And Shit.
  • GTFOOH and Shit.
  • I’m calling the cops, And Shit.”

OK, so it was a slow news day….


Oh, and all these band names (Blunderbuss, The Hand Jobs, Fuckstain, Evil Pussycat, Lenny, Sloth, Spay Aiken and the Gerbil Experience, And Shit) are copyrighted by me, but I will license to any actual band inexchange for free CDs and VIP tickets and some blogwhoring on yourliner notes. For life. And shit.

Pride (In the Name of $$$)

U2 frontman Bono declares “we’re so [Sunday] bloody [Sunday] fucking rich we can singlehandlely forgive all of Mynamar‘s debt. Except that the Edge wants to buy a Maybach 62 for his guitars with his share, so maybe we’ll start with East St. Louis, instead. Or just get more cars for all of us.”

Story

“Too many Ob-Gyns aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country”

“Too many Ob-Gyns aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country”

GWB, Labor Day 2004

That’s my Bush

Dr. Love

CALLING DR. LOVE
KISS
(Gene Simmons)

You need my love baby, oh so bad
You’re not the only one I’ve ever had
And if I say I wanna set you free
Don’t you know you’ll be in misery

They call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ of (calling Dr. Love)

And even though I’m full of sin
In the end you’ll let me in
You’ll let me through, there’s nothin’ you can do
You need my lovin’, don’t you know it’s true

So if you please get on your knees
There are no bills, there are no fees
Baby, I know what your problem is
The first step of the cure is a kiss

So call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I am your doctor of love (calling Dr. Love), haaaaaa
They call me (Dr. Love), they call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ of (calling Dr. Love)

Ooh, they call me (Dr. Love)
I am the doctor of love (calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ of (calling Dr. Love)
Ooh, they Call me (Dr. Love)
I am your doctor of love (calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinking of (calling Dr. Love), ooh, yeah
Yeah, they call me (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ of (calling Dr. Love)
Love, love, love, (Dr. Love)
Love, love, love, love, (calling Dr. Love) love Dr. Love
(Calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ (Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ (calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ of (calling Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (Dr. Love)
They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love)
I’ve got the cure

:shakes head:

Clay v. Avril

One of these songs is non sequitur, retardo crap (not retardo like no. 61 – more of a bananaphone sort).  Can you figure out which one I hate?

What are you doing tonight I wish I could be a fly on your wall Are you really alone Still in your dreams Why can’t I bring you into my life What would it take to make you see that I’m alive[Chorus]If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I’d make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I saw your face in the crowd
I called out your name
You don’t hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could be what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I’d make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I reach out
But you don’t even see me
Even when I’m screaming
Baby, you don’t hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through…

[Repeat Chorus]

Clay Aiken
Title: Invisible
Album: Measure Of A Man

You held my hand and walked me home,
I know, Why you gave me the kiss
you’re something like this, that made me go oh-oh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears
Why did you have to go?
Cause it wasnt enough to take up some of my love, cause a shortage of trust
Did I not tell you, that I’m not like that
you’re the one who gives it all away, yeahh oh

Did you think that i was gonna give it up to you, this timeeeee
did you think that there was something i was gonna do then cryyy
don’t try to tell me what to do, dont try to tell me what to say
you’re better of that way

Don’t think that you’re charmed in the fact
that you’re arm is now around my neck
Won’t get you in my pants
I’d have to kick you’re ass
and make you never forget
I’m gonna ask you to stop,
Thought I liked you alot
But i’m really upset (really upset)
Get out of my head
Get out of my bed,
yeah, thats what I said

Did I not tell you, that I’m not like that
you’re the one who throws it all awaaaaayy

Did you think that i was gonna give it up to you, this timeeeee
did you think that there was something i was gonna do then cryyy
don’t try to tell me what to do, dont try to tell me what to say
you’re better of that way, yeah

this guilt trip that you put me on won’t mess me up,
I’ve done no wrong, and the thoughts of you and me have gone awayeeayyayyy

Did you think that i was gonna give it up to you, this timeeeee
did you think that there was something i was gonna do then cryyy
don’t try to tell me what to do, dont try to tell me what to say
you’re better of that way
I’m better off alone anyway

Avril Lavigne
Title: Don’t Tell Me
Album: Under My Skin