Gene Simmons

Brother can you spare $65,000?

All I want for Christmas…  People say that my bass playing, well, what does “I would prefer to have my brain ripped from my skull and fed to rabid lemurs, while my still living corpse is repeatedly and horrifically violated by intoxicated Barry Manilow imitators, than listen to you ‘play’ that thing ever again” tell […]

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KISS Your Originality Goodbye

Actually, lick it goodbye, I suppose, and buy it breakfast before it goes. Gene Simmons Family Jewels is all Gene, all the time. I like Gene. He is rich as shit. Gets laid. A lot. Is able to play the bass competently. And gets laid. A lot. Still, Gene… baby… Double you Tee Efff, eh? […]

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God of Thunder

A couple things I forgot from the VH1 Rock Honors thing, one of which is:

Did the GOD OF THUNDER give rock and roll to me? And, since Gene Simmons is the God of Thunder, and somewhere in my personal chain of title is the original, does that mean that I am Gene Simmons, or that I gave rock and roll to him to give to you?
And if I did, don’t you owe me like $5 bucks?
I’m talking to you, Matt Loranger

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God Gave Rock and Roll to You

I’ve been watching Gene Simmons’ Rock School on VH1. Although it follows the Jack Black script pretty closely, its still an interesting train wreck of a show.  Gene still thinks of himself as a “rock star.”  While KISS has been unfairly shunned by the RnR Hall of Fame, his best individual work was and remains “wish upon […]

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Nothing says Christmas like…

Bloody, sweaty rock and rollers are way better than the other thing that says Xmas, the Best Buy bill for that new video/surround sound/ps2 and a grand worth of other merde that you foolishly bought so that your kids would be equivalent in the $/toys race.. (nevermind the “he’s Jewish doing the Christmas thing” irony) Now playing: William […]

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Kiss vs. Allah

Gene Simmons is getting the culture of whiners treatment for some unfavorable remarks about Islam and extremists.  If he were a talking head on a news show, I can see it, but anybody who looks to this guy for guidance on religious tolerance, well,  WTF should you expect?  A monograph differentiating Judaism (Simmons is Jewish and was born in […]

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