Chapter 11: …And a Slurpee and some pickled sausages “Let’s you and me go get some Carltons,” said Larry to Fred. They drove off in a flurry of screaming tires and protestations from the engine of the pimped out Cadillac, curb feelers raising sparks as Larry played curb-hunter. Half of the purpose of the Carltons […]
Read more "The One About Kwik-E-Mart"Chapter 8: How About a Fresca? Sensing a strange and terrible plot twist involving inter-species mating, Fred thought it best to tell the latest “Little Tommy” joke. As he related the latest adventure of our buddy the potty mouth and fondling the cats, he was sure he heard the unmistakable strains of “Una Paloma Blanca” […]
Read more "Titles Are Overrated: So What? So Let’s Dance!"I swear to god. Man hit with golf club over beer Sarah McLellan Nov. 28, 2007 11:44 AM Mesa police arrested a man Tuesday after they said he struck another man with a golf club when the man asked for a beer. The man told police that he asked 19-year-old Adam Jackson for a beer […]
Read more "Not me"Geez. Never hear of that happening before. Well, the death part. No word on whether a 5 iron was involved. Boy dies after being accidentally struck by golf club Canadian Press Jul. 22, 2005 10:13 AM WETASKIWIN,Alberta – A six-year-old boy was taken off life support and died Thursday after being accidentally struck by a […]
Read more "Too Close to Home"“Eww. I was forced to voluntarily shag my hot boss, and then I embarassed her and can’t understand why this has damaged my future in the industry.” Gary Robinson, former LPGA caddy, now posterboy for Eunuch Morons of America… Dear Gary “As Manly As Clay Aiken” Robinson: Suing because you chose to take a piece […]
Read more "Dude, where’s your cojones?"Stupid Drunken Things Not To Do Golf, somebody else’s girlfriend, your girlfriends. What could possibly go wrong? If your friendships survive these… (well, they won’t, so don’t worry about it.) 1. Go to 8Barrel’s house to hang out. 8barrel will crash around midnight. Continue drinking with his GF/Fiancé Easy E. Do not, under any circumstances […]
Read more "Girlfriend is Better"Stupid Drunken Things Not To Do Bum Wine and cheap liquor own you… 53. [Not drunken, but similarly stupid] Drive behind the old insane asylum and the University power plant on your CB350 with 8Barrel riding bitch. Even though it’s dark out, don’t use your headlight, because this dirt road comes out where the cops […]
Read more "Bikers and Bushwood"Again, don’t ever do these things!!! 101 (forgot where I left off – Damn you Jose Cuervo) Get a bunch of beer and drink it. Go to a new subdivision under construction where the parents of someone you know are building a new house. It will be more fun explaining this to people who can […]
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