Solve this dilemma

Your kid needs to print something on Sunday night at 8. Your printer is out of ink. Replacement ink costs about $75. Staples has your ink.  Staples is closed.  Best Buy probably has your ink.  Best Buy is definitely closed.  Target is open, but doesn’t have your ink. Target does sell printers that come with […]

Read more "Solve this dilemma"

Hail Mary

A million years ago, there was this cheerleader with huge knockers.  Since this was in high school, that is all I know about this girl from that time – “oh yeah, that girl with the rack.” Karma:  Testosterone is a helluva drug. Me: So I’ve learned Last night, she was in my dreams – her […]

Read more "Hail Mary"

Acid Flashback Thursday: 1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme

1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme
This is not your driver’s ed teacher’s Olds – oh wait, it is

It’s a slow, gloomy Tuesday commute, when out of nowhere, this cream-colored nightmare comes storming into view.

Not only is it exhibit A in how to take America’s most successful car of the day, the ‘77 Cutlass, make it smaller (good), even less powerful (bad), and less aggressive, by halving the number of lights (emasculatingly bad).  Then, for ’79, change the grille to make it even uglier. (Two fat sections per side instead of three more slender ones.) Read More


santa edsel

but so what. It’s Christmas.

Dear Santa:

If I could have one thing from you this year, it would be to finish (as in “Happy Finish”) that dream I had, which featured:

  • a red/white Edsel just like this ^^ at a used car lot.  With the keys handy.
  • Michele Wendling in the shotgun seat (what is it with me, redheads and unfinished (or not based in reality) business)
  • Lorraine avenue in BFE Alaska where the car was parked, but not unoccupied.  (also the same for me and Michele –  parked, but not unoccupied, so to speak.)
  • two sets of fully active 18 year old hormones

If not that, can I get my car fixed before the year is out?



Read more "ACID FLASHBACK THURSDAY: It’s No el Dorado Sleigh"

The Best of Times

Despite $1.30 to 1.40 for a gallon of gas and astronomical insurance rates… Some of these cars are used solely for transportation to work or school.  Other common uses are for mobile parties and for activities prohibited by a recent Supreme Court decision.  One individual’s “beast,” as he called it, looked like a combination para-military […]

Read more "The Best of Times"

I need to stop going to reunions

2001 – July reunion  O’Hare, see cheerleaders 2001 – shit blows up, Bush abandons constitution, lays false pretext for oil war 2006 – July reunion  O’Hare, see cheerleaders 2006 – bad guys plan to blow more shit up, Bush plans to seize more power, avoid loss of power from voters who were just getting ready to wake […]

Read more "I need to stop going to reunions"