Buy American

The federal government is sending each and every one of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs*, if we purchase a computer it will go to India,** we purchase fruit and vegetables it […]

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Pussy Galore

So, it’s a weekend like any other. It’s raining* and I need to pack my 200 lb. TV and other shit into a pickup bed that’s 3 sizes too small. Yes, it’s GTFOOH day. Yay. Naturally, this means that my neighbor needs to see me – probably to nickel and dime me on the stuff […]

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Secretary/ Porn Star

The famous secretary, Debbie Lovelace, quit today.  To protect those of us who knew or suspected the porn biz from any WTF?! OMG! issues from the IT guy, I got to clean off her internet “favorites” including an administrator account here and  this (OMFG! NSFW) in her browser history. Update:  Apparently while in Vegas last […]

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My Secretary is a Porn Star

Dear MP Forum:  I never thought the stories here could ever be true.  Then one day, I walked into my secretary’s office without knocking and… Man, when I started representing strip clubs, I didn’t think my life could get weirder. To be fair, it’s Mr. Boxter’s secretary, and to be truthful, she is not a […]

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Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Really Stupid –As Cracker, karate kick the back of the toilet and break off the water inlet tube. (There IS a technical term for this thing.)  Once you do this, the toilet is out of commission. Plus, flooding – BONUS!!! Mom  will be so proud! The mechanics are really simple:  run down the hall at […]

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Flesh for Fantasy

SDTNTD: The Swamp Years Climb up a storm drain leading from a swamp. The fact that the pipe diameter keeps decreasing while the amount of sediment and water filling it is increasing is nothing to concern yourself with. And, there probably won’t be rats. Anyway, your friends probably have planned for popping the manhole cover […]

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