Tag Archives: Jalopnik


If Only


Best 411 ever

This VW Is The Fastest Looking Slow Car Ever.

This is the VW/Brasil SP2

Parked, it was the fastest car you’ve ever seen. Driven, well, not so much.

SP 9s obviously “Slow Poke.” Jalopnik claims it was based on the VW Type III.  we think it’s something a little closer to home:  the 411/412.  the ass is what gives it away.

VW 411

Starting with a turtle has its practical limits

412s were even smoother.

VW 412

As if improved aerodynamics had any value to a 52 mph car

So we come to the “what if.”  If i had an SP2 instead of a 411:

On the bright side, I would have looked much cooler driving around town dateless.  Maybe the hookers wouldn’t start laughing a mile away.

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Porsche 928

Sometimes you really do have to say…



For $6,000, This 928 Is On The Ragtop.

You can tell a horse’s age by opening their mouth and looking at their teeth. Popping the hood on this Porsche reveals an engine compartment that looks its age, and in fact is akin to peering into a meth addict’s septic pie hole.

We love the Porsche 928. Just not the tragic, jonesing beater.  We also don’t love pie plate wheels.

We don’t love half ass butcher jobs.

We especially do not like turning the the Contac capsule suppository look of the original into an awkward, stubby nouveau English clown car, like the F-type or the Vanquish Volante.

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Ferrari 458 Spider

Eat the Rich

Class Warfare Breaks Out As Londoner Eggs Woman Driving A Ferrari.

Rich residents of London are notoriously upset with richer foreigners who summer in the British capital, filling the streets with supercars. Recently, one of these Brits egged a Ferrari. Shit just got real.This particular incident occurred on fancy-fancy Sloan street over the weekend. As a yellow Ferrari 458 Spider pulls up to a light, an egg flies down at the window, splattering over the interior and the woman driving.

There are easier ways to make an Egg McMuffin.

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Ferrari 458 World on Fire

Disco Inferno

Burn baby burn…

Yesterday morning an older gentleman named Bill called our establishment saying he had a car he needed to sell, he told me he had a “pristine 2006 Mercedes CLK 500 that was being transported from CA to FL along with a Porsche, a GT-R, a Ferrari and a BMW. The truck was involved in some sort of fire but I don’t know how badly the car was damaged. It might be just some smoke damage.

Porsche 356 toast

Yes, there is definitely some smoke damage.

Ferrari 458

This $600,000 Porsche/Ferrari/M5 Totaling Fire Will Make You Cry.

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Ferrari 512 BBi

Do Want

Ferrari 512 BBi

This House Is A Ferrari Workspace/Garage/Gallery.

Holger Schubert is a man with superb taste, as evidenced not only by his amazing 512BBi, but also by the gorgeous workspace/garage/art gallery he’s built to accommodate it. There are no corny framed photos of waterfalls with trite inspirational messages on Schubert’s immaculate glass walls, and he doesn’t need them—the Boxer provides limitless motivation. Schubert shares with us his thoughts on the space and the car.

Ferrari 512 BBi

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Porsche 928

The 928 Is Everything A Porsche Should And Shouldn’t Be

Porsche 928

pop your lights

Porsche 928

Fancy Parking

The 928 was introduced as what Porsche saw as the replacement for the 911. They don’t make the 928 anymore, so you know how that panned out. Today, it’s the Porsche for the man that knows that Porsche builds fantastic rear-engined, flat-six, manual transmission sports cars, and wants none of that. Instead, what you get is a V8, German Corvette with rear seats and a dog-leg trans.

via The 928 Is Everything A Porsche Should And Shouldn’t Be.

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ford ranchero

We thought of this first

Your authorLet’s Just Jump This ['73 DodgeInto A Pond. Hypothetically, of course.

8 Barrel: Of course.  Rolling it into the lake under cover of darkness is a less flagrant felony, with a better chance of avoiding detection.  Hypothetically, of course.

Me: Of course.  We can blame it somebody else.  Dan Talayco?  Cthulu? Mitt Romney?

8: Of course.  Even so, think of the snapping turtles.  Also cops.  Imagine losing your virginity in Jackson, in prison. Hypothetically, of course.

Me: Of course. I’ll do worse.

8:  As a matter of fact.

8:  Anyhoo, it’s just too risky. Hypothetically, of course.

Me:  Fine.  Just don’t ask about any Rancheros.

8:  Fair enough. Hypothetically, of course.

via Jalopnik

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