Messenger Puppet

Once upon a time there were three little girls, or at least there was  that one skinny bitch who was like my friend Adrian who went to the Payless Drug Store in Boulder Colorado, and they were each assigned very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that and now they work for [...]

TC:  What did you do wrong? Crabs:  I took your truck without asking. TC: What else? Crabs:  I drove it to Ann Arbor TC: What else? Crabs: …while fucked up. TC: What else? Crabs:  …and I took the keg TC: What else? Crabs: … and three frat brothers TC: What else? Crabs:  …and we stole [...]

The Best Damn Fairmont blurb doesn’t technically apply.  Muls had one (green with a tan interior covered entirely by one sheet of shitty cheap plastic – even the seats).  Hummelberg had a newer black one with a T-roof (which acted like a torsion bar, the car was so flexy without its roof on).  Both were [...]

I understood why the girls of “A Chi O” not associating with us, just as I understood the privilege of the Alpha Phi’s deigning to appear at a joint party with us and the Fijis. Money.  They had it, we didn’t. Class.  They wished, we didn’t. But the girls of “Chi O”?  Hanging with them [...]

and the delicious repleneshment of fresh corpses is running low in Hasppy Valley

Cruising into work this morning  (at a snail’s pace – thanks again, photo radar!!) and this song comes on the radio… What a stupid piece of shit song, right?  Well, it’s also nostalgic (in a pathetic, demented sort of way). first time I heard it was at the FSK house (at a kegger – big [...]

Despite what your drunken penis-brain tells you, that hot redhead who reminds you of Louise (Padlock’s girlfriend) on the hysterical historical geology road trip to Niagara Falls is NOT hot for you. This is not the first time you will confuse a girl that talks to you with one who is interested in you. It’s [...]

The defense held NIU’s senior tailback Garrett Wolfe to 25 yards on 18 carries, 198 yards below his season average of 223.8. The Heisman race officially moved on seconds later. Bronco Football Shuts Down NIU, 16-14 .

no, I just can’t say it Paterno leaves field, battling flu bug What I can say is that his team was kicking ass without him on the field. He was back in the 4th quarter when his team went into step on their own dicks mode (aka “play like Colorado”) and bent over for the [...]

Nothing says join my fraternity like a two fingered salute, and a dyslexic (“five two”) interpretation of our twenty fifth anniversary