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Pig-Napped: “Porkchop” Stolen by Lady in SUV; There’s a Reward – Phoenix News – Valley Fever

MCSO has a fleet of luxury SUVs.  Dave Hendershott works for MCSO.  You do the math via Pig-Napped: “Porkchop” Stolen by Lady in SUV; There’s a Reward – Phoenix News – Valley Fever.

We’ll make it up in volume

The George W. Bush MBA school of retail: CVS:  Here’s a coupon for a $25 gift card when you transfer or bring in a new prescription. Later… Karma:  Here is a crippling headache cluster, like that person from “The Fury” (Not THAT Fury) whose head exploded. Dr. Wikipedia:  *googles “OMFG it hurts, but only at [...]

My Thursday

Karma:  Just wait, pretty boy

“Service is our #1 priority”

Service to our favorite strip club that is. Neither of us gives a shit that you took a cab home. Your Cordoba is soiling our parking lot with its ugliness. That ends now.

Why yes they’re real

The world’s coolest golf cart. 3rd St and Palm, 5:18 p.m. today. 5 minutes earlier, I got a “your batteries are low” message, so I did not have it on and ready to fire.  Of course NOW, the error message is gone. [Ed.: IRONY WIN!!!]

Woke up this mornin’

Manny, Moe and Jack: Bend over and take it like a man

Me:  I would like some insurance that is better than “pay a million dollars and get no coverage”*  (the utter bullshit George Bush health savings account I currently have) MMJ HR:  Okely dokely Me:  La la la, life is good. Later MMJ HR:  Guess what?  Your individual  insurance is not close to affordable for you.  [...]

JLR Was Right?

A million years ago in Denver, I was involved in pedicle screw/spinal fusion surgery lawsuits.  There was a plaintiff named Johnny Lee.  His complaint was this: Before surgery: boinked his wife 6-10 times a week; interactions were typically 90-120 minutes. After surgery:  boinked his wife 4-7 times a week; interactions were typically 30-45 minutes. (This [...]

Karma: Would you like door number one or door number two?

Door #1 2006 Rock:  Hi mustang.  Let me chip your windshield. Geico:  A Lizard Caveman cocktail will fix it nicely.  No deductible. Me:  Yay. Fastforward to 2010 Rock:  Fuck you xoxBox windshield. Die from a puny chip to the sweet spot. Geico:  Hah!  no coverage for you, dancer boy. Me:  huh?  WTF? Geico:  We don’t [...]

Tim Tebow Practices for Brief NFL Career

Like all good future  scout teamers and career backups, it is important for Timmy to know the protocols of the inevitable felonious shenanigans to relieve the enormous pressures of holding a clipboard