10 years ago, +/- a few minutes, my wife wondered out loud in bed whether we should get a divorce. I said yes, relieved that she was thinking what I had thought for a while. That was all I needed – to not be the bastard imposing this change on her. Now it was “our” […]
and life on earth (or maybe not, not that I read the lyrics)
That’s it. Goddammit, that’s it. NO ONE does that. Says that. Thinks that. And remains.
The War Council is disbanded. – Me, after a frank and refreshing talk with the ex-Mrs.
Your kid needs to print something on Sunday night at 8. Your printer is out of ink. Replacement ink costs about $75. Staples has your ink. Staples is closed. Best Buy probably has your ink. Best Buy is definitely closed. Target is open, but doesn’t have your ink. Target does sell printers that come with […]
The important thing to remember about ex-wives is that you divorced their ass for a reason. By all means be civil, but that new her is still based on the old her. Don’t be fooled by the attractive package. – Me, after a surprisingly cordial crossing of paths. UPDATE: It’s worth it to have an actual two […]
Vex No, this is not a Weird Al spoof of a forgettable Motley Crue song. I’m in a quandary. Winston Smith is dead. No, it wasn’t from the rat. Anyhoo, he left cookies – an open bag. Is it wrong to eat one? The cookies don’t have a soul, right? An open back is nearly valueless, […]
“Waffle Nut” a breakfast treat at Safeway or a horrible (yet hilarious in the the Safeway check out line) exotic male affliction.
Like last week, driving the kid to school is an adventure in poltergeists. This time, we hop in the car and this starts playing. Immediately. Spontaneously, on my phone. On Pandora. In my pocket. Is it an electronic glitch related to Kid 2’s failing phone? Is my phone possessed? Since it only happens in the […]