The apple of my eye doesn’t fall far from the tree, except that sometimes it does. I have a kid – a couple of them, actually. Kid1 was chomping at the bit to get a driver license. Kid1 wanted an Aston for the longest time, because of some mormon vampire chastity book. [Ed.: Twilight] Kid1 […]Read more "The Apple"
Life, the Universe, and Everything is explained by football or Star Trek. It’s true. Football is easy – anything that has to do with sex fits. Star Trek takes on other things – racism, war mongering, cultural elitism. Recently, it became apparent that Star Trek explains divorce behavior. David Marcus Kid: I’m sorry, sir. Just don’t […]Read more "Life, the Universe, and Everything"
Pod rolled over the odometer, which we celebrated yesterday. Naturally, there were speeches. We ad-libbed a speech that we had been working on for days. We also had a little bloodletting last night between Lurlene and the Bear. Hopefully, it was medicinal and long-lasting, and not just momentary fireworks.Read more "In other news"
made by your kid for Mother’s Day. Contestant 1: What are things Mom should eat? Contestant 2: What are things Mom should not say she forgot she even had, when they’re the only thing in her refrigerator and are untouched since last weekend? Contestant 3: What can Mom (the ex) stick up her ass?Read more "Alex Trebek: The Answer is Cupcakes…"
that killed this cat – at least not my kid’s curiosity. Cats are safe around the kid, at least when it comes to cars. Kid drives this car:Read more "It Wasn’t Curiosity"
[Ed.: At our corporate counsel’s insistence…] Just so we’re clear in mama drama part 7,005 | Messenger Puppet, kid1 STILL has a place at puppet central. The anount of work to restore the room to its pre-moveout condition is exactly however long it takes to swap out a set of sheets so there is fresh ones […]Read more "A clarification"
is that I have learned a few things about discretion, relative anonymity and lemons. Not so much the ex. @cousinnsluttymcfailpants yeah, what @kid1 said! I wasn’t joking about having a room for rent — skeweredtesticlesforbreakfast (@manhatingwench) May 15, 2013 Seems innocuous enough except that this room is kid2’s. Kid2 doesn’t live there. As punishment, the […]Read more "The Upside to this Waste of Bandwidth"
It’s Sunday, time for mom for a few hours. Mom is early. Yay! That’s different! Mom is never early! Kid gets to sit in front. Yay! That’s different! Shotgun is usually taken by sister! Or boyfriend roommate ex-boyfriend fiance roommate fiance roommate boyfriend roommate! Kid usually heads for the back door, expecting someone to be taking the prime spot. […]Read more "Let’s Go Shopping"
A pice of metaphoric advice for a headstrong, naive teenage daughter I found lurking as a draft on Facebook from 2011 We all come up against obstacles in our path right? They are sort of like rivers. You can cross. You can sit on the bank. You can turn around and go back. But what […]Read more "How not to cross a river"
This is something I will remember.* It was Disney movie weekend on ABC Family this weekend: Mary Poppins, Lion King, Lady and the Tramp, Hercules. Daughter 2 wanted me to DVR them all. No problem. Yesterday, she wanted to watch Hercules – not merely in a casual, nothing else is going on way. No, this […]Read more "Here Comes the Hercules"