Whiskey, Part 5

Did you ever wonder how the bed sheet toga was invented?

Probably, it was in Vegas.  Whiskey was involved.

Whiskey is always involved, somehow.

Then you wake up naked. Alone in a bed, but not alone. And not in a place where being discovered (bad naked) is any more appealing than being awake (Whiskey). Problem, meet solution.

Continue reading “Whiskey, Part 5”

Whiskey. Dick.

Whiskey is the devil.  We all know that. Boozy encounters with chicks – those always end well, too. Especially when they’re friends.  Add in Vegas and a corporate expense account.  Shake well. Shit happens.But not in the way you might expect (based on your personal experiences on every other trip to Vegas ever).

Sometimes, all there is to confess after a Vegas road trip is the booze.  Just a couple of Gaelic Clusterfucks (Tullamore Dew/Harp) and a regular boilermaker. No hookers. No blow. No hookups. No shag disasters. No new LTRs/divorces. No Doug on the roof.

There is still no explanation for waking up alone but(t) naked. Or the other surprises. Just shut and be grateful the tale was met with “bemused and nonchalant,” rather than “mortified.”


Wild Turkey whiskey
“Oh, and could I get a quart of Wild Turkey, two fifths of Bacardi, and a night’s worth of ice delivered to my room, please?”

Wild Turkey and Vegas.  What could possibly go wrong?

Maybe it was the Budweiser chaser. Maybe being sandwiched by Tullamore Dew and Harp. And a beer and some wine at dinner.

Hey, let’s Facebook some pics!

Hey, lets post some insightful comments!

Hey! Another round?  Fuck yeah!

Continue reading “Whiskey”

Status update:

We’re off to SEMA.  Yes, we’re meeting up with old classmates while there. No, there is not an agenda or an expectancy, except Vegas-y Vegasness, clogged with crazier-than-usual cars. And that’s plenty.

[Ed.:  Also whiskey, beyond the usual one Wild Turkey.]

Good Morning, Detroit

We were invited to drop 500 words on a website tied to a major player in the auto industry, about our experience at CES 2013.

My Editor: I understand you’re pretty funny as a writer, and
Legal Department (butting in)… well, comedy is something we usually squash a kind of hobby of ours. Well– Well, actually, it’s a little more than just a hobby. Reader’s Digest is considering publishing two of our jokes.
Me:  Really?
Legal Department:  Yeah. And perhaps some night we could maybe get together and swap humorous stories for-for fun.
Me:  Oh, why not? Maybe play a couple of Adele records. That’d be a hoot.

Yay! Free publicity!  Backlinks!  Money raining from the sky! Hookers and blow! Continue reading “Good Morning, Detroit”

If you could see tomorrow

the way it looks to us today, you’d say incredible…

Ford jingle, ca. 1980 (hyping the 1981 Escort world car“)

Or, You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby. Or, Why yes, they’re real.

Bertter than a Toyota Prius
What to drive when Ford flies you to Las Vegas for the 2013 Consumer Electronics Show

Continue reading “If you could see tomorrow”

Finding Nemo

Las Vegas is like a reef.  Predators in the shadows and crevices, luring you in and kicking your broke ass carcass out once the $ stops flowing.  Scavengers looking for any lost treasures (hopefully beer or money).  Schools of oblivious tourists cruising back and forth, assuming someone else will lose out – not them, not today.

Yes, there's a kid in the sdtroller while Dad get s trolled by Xenu
Why yes, my mouth IS also my anus.  Let me tell you about dianetics.  QED.

And then there are the sea anemones. Continue reading “Finding Nemo”