Feb 10 2010

Where’s Waldo for Buckeyes

Dr. Gonzo

Don’t strain yourself. Put the crayons down and crack a brew with some Cheetos and Jerry Springer reruns if it gets too tough.

Sorry. "At WalMart buying Ramen is not the answer"


Oct 23 2009

ooo scary

Dr. Gonzo

Michigan gets all high and mighty about promotional Bud Light cans, claiming trademark infringement.

This is the demon in the flesh, in AZ Cardinal colors.

In the flesh, it looks licke a Dr. Pepper.  Maybe THEY should be pissed off.

In the flesh, it looks licke a Dr. Pepper. Maybe THEY should be pissed off.

Can you spot the football connection?

Can you spot the football connection?


Jun 20 2009

Incongruity

Dr. Gonzo
$226 Million - 6-8 uses per year

$226 Million - 6-8 uses per year

How much to fix this?

How much to fix this?

Or this?

Or this?

not sayin’.  Just sayin’.


Apr 13 2009

Strength and Hono[u]r?

Dr. Gonzo
On the other wall?  "For the Horde"?

Michigan Football is Warcraft? (c) mvictors.com

Strength and Honour?  Interesting slogan.  It got me thinking about warcraft, because the goat people [Ed.: Tauren] in the game are always saying “strength and honor.”  Michigan football, especially 2008, is a lot like Warcraft, in that:

  • people living in Mom’s basement, with no other life are really into it.
  • fans universally mocked by people with real lives (or successful teams), but don’t give a shit.
  • guild (Big 10) was lame (2008)
  • last season was definitely an Alliance kind of year, because we usually got stomped*, even by seemingly lesser level opponents.  Sounds liek a typical day on the battleground
  • Fucking n00bs.  Rewatch the 2008 offense, and see if that doesn’t come to mind.
  • Our epic warrior gear (unbreakable traditions, ginormous stadium, fancy hats, ghost of Bo) was of absolutely no use in weekly raids, especially against epic bosses (yes, I know we played sweatervest mccheaterpants the undead on the road.  See also 2002-2007)

*what would you call losing to Toledo?  In a non-off year, we should have beat them by 70, so losing by any margin must have been an epic asskicking


Mar 10 2009

Go Blue Go Hold the Soap

Dr. Gonzo
In case you forget...

In case you forget...

Michigan reduces the plumbing related section of the lockerroom to its basic essences:  “go”-ing and not inviting ass frolicking in the shower.  We know it’s a form of team building, but when we say the Michigan way will be pounded into you, homoerotic Lever 2000 fantasies are not part of the traditional program.  not that there’s anything wrong with it,” commented Rich “Snake oil in a whole new context” Rodriguez.


Feb 25 2009

Obsess much?

Dr. Gonzo
Crap whiskey panders to obsessed fans.  woo hoo!

Crap whiskey panders to obsessed fans. woo hoo!

This is Columbus, OH, mecca for the walmart/value city/ trailer park nation.  Also, home of the nations most pathologically obsessed fan base.  No wonder, the marketing geniuses of the House of Beam decided to pander to the delicious low hanging fruit of bourbon swilling Buckeye fans.  To be fair, I always pictured them as more of the Canada House/Jim Beam/Kessler’s variety drunkards.  (Chased with a Natty Light.)


Oct 12 2008

Fire Bill Martin

Mr. Wonderful

I blame Sailboat Bill for Michigan’s current state of affairs.

Appy state? Bill’s idea.

Toledo? Bill’s idea.

Notre Dame as our one “name” OOC opponent for the next 30 years? Bill’s idea.

RichRod? Bill’s 4th idea [Jury is still out]

Pissing away stadium capacity for fat cat seats? Bill again.

PSLs? Bill.

Is it too late to reanimate Don Canham? A fucking zombie of that guy has more smarts than Popeye the AD. Bill has shat all over the program. This season just crystallizes it.


Jul 9 2008

Not me

Pen S. Lordoscum
Drunk man held for disrupting traffic in Ann Arbor
Posted by Art Aisner | The Ann Arbor News July 09, 2008 12:35PM

Ann Arbor police arrested a man who was walking in and out of downtown traffic Tuesday afternoon, reports said.  Officers were called about a man who was disrupting traffic flow by walking into lanes of Main Street near Ann Street and shouting profanity at drivers around 3:50 p.m., reports said. The 51-year-old Ypsilanti Township man appeared intoxicated and was arrested for disorderly conduct, police said. No one was injured.


Mar 11 2008

Getting smaller to get bigger

Mr. Wonderful

As a football fan. my entire self worth is tied into the success of my chosen team. Thus, my Johnson feels less adequate, now that I read this

U-M will drop down to a capacity of 106,201 in 2008 season — below Penn State’s 107,282.

Joe Paterno got his first stiffy of the aughts on hearing this

We're number 1, fuckers!

Whadda you mean I'm doing it wrong?

I’m Joe Paterno, bitch!

Yet, there is a glimmer of hope.

But that won’t be for long. U-M is in the midst of a $226 million renovation of the stadium that will widen aisles and seats and create a new press box, concourse, luxury boxes and indoor and outdoor club seats. The pricier luxury boxes and club seats will add about 5,000 spots, including about 135 wheelchair-accessible seats.

U-M should reclaim its title in 2010.

“Ultimately, the seating will increase over time and we expect to have the largest capacity of any stadium in the country,” Hage said.

Big House to beef up disabled seating

You @$#^%^&@#$ well better. If Michigan Stadium is not the biggest, I am simply not a man any more.

Oh wait. GF, says this is all irrelevant bullshit.


Jan 8 2008

OSU: Still Obsessed

Dr. Gonzo

tOSU