Messenger Puppet

Do you REALLY need a thinly disguised string version of the “Dallas” theme as your background music?  FWIW, the part that exactly parrots the Dallas song is the part where Victoria Principal highlights her ample breasts.  I can’t hate you for that one part, dammit, but the Borg queen will be feasting on your shriveled nuts when she finds out.

This is the new Cadillac One.

Hope comes with a 12 hole grill and a big Diesel

This is what showed up in Phoenix to ferry the President

It's not the same

Nauseating reminders of Florida '00 and Ohio '04

We got Bush’s cast offs – the 2001 and 2006 DTS parade cars.  As good a thing as recycling is, I want my change!  I want my beastie!  Or at least the sleeker model Bush rode in Europe a couple of years ago.  Not the stolen election cars.

you’re our only hope.

Don't go away mad, Joe. Go away in federal handcuffs.

Phoenix, 2/18/09.  Anti Joe protestors plead for presidential intervention on constitutional abuses by the couthy sheriff, since no one in the state has the balls to stand up to Joe or his henchmen.

Karma:  You dicks shoulda opened the roof more.  Football is not a game for pussies.

Karma:  P.S.:  Ben Rothlisberger is a cocksucker, but I hate you more

Karma:  P.P.S.  The President correctly called this as a narrow Pittsburgh victory.

I want this “car.”  I bet it has power windows and maybe a cd player.  I would give you better pix, but ll these people are in the way.

Also, new President.  That’s a good thing too.

Don’t blame me, I voted for McCain

I assume this is a dig against Obama.  However, this shit economy, war on brown people with oil, war on an idea, shit on the Constitution dissolution of the republic all fall on Mr. Bush.  McCain did not run un ‘04, so if you are not pre-blaming Obama for the serial fuckups of Bush, then you are resting on a choice of the lesser of two GOP evils 8 years ago.  What the hell have you been doing since then?

Think I’ll buy me a… BFC9000?

Amazing photos.  We know who’s taking delivery of this monster.

Photographed testing on public roads and highways, we think this behemoth might actually be more of a truck than a limo. With so much armor being added, it appears GM may have needed a medium-duty truck chassis like the Topkick platform. We observed the limo testing along with two regular Topkick trucks and the wheels and tires on the limo appeared to be the same size as the Topkick. The tires on the limo are Goodyear Regional RHS tires, though we couldn’t tell if they are 22.5 inch or 19.5 inch wheels. As far as powertrain, all we can say for sure is that a very large diesel was under the hood. The exhaust note coming from the back of the limo was quite similar to the medium-duty Topkick trucks.

If these happen:

• you are “a bit” over thirty
• you are in the NFL, or at least with the Cardinals, the next best thing to a real NFL team
• you are in your present average to athletic shape, but nowhere near the shape of that guy in Invincible
• you’re with PHid, who is not the biggest fan of football, but lives in football Mecca.
• You’re both penciled in as right side offensive line men.
• Before running a play, it’ s lunch.
• After lunch, you are switched to WR spots.
• You are a slot receiver
• You have no idea what a slot receiver is, or where to line up.

Or

• you’re in bed.
• So are Bill and Hillary.
• You don’t know how long you’ve been there, but she’s naked under the covers, and they have obviously enjoyed some monkey love not too long ago.
• No, it’s not the white house.
• Yes, you do say something stupid to Bill along the lines of a 10 year old joke.  (Like Letterman, still)
• Somehow this all ties in to voting in Michigan, Michigan stadium renovations and a synagogue.
• The synagogue has nothing to do with Moe (the gay Jewish partner) wearing a Public Enemy shirt on casual day.