Messenger Puppet

Like all good future  scout teamers and career backups, it is important for Timmy to know the protocols of the inevitable felonious shenanigans to relieve the enormous pressures of holding a clipboard

Lesson One: DUI Felony Stop (AP photo)

Too busy to shake hands with the guy who kicked your ass after you Favred it up with a dumb, comeback killing INT…

"I must go cry now"

Not too busy to blather like a dork to softball questions…

"Mama says Football is like a box of chocolates..."

Dear asshole Bidwill people:

Now that Kurt “I am afraid to see my shadow” Warner has walked away* from your traditional doormat team, can we please revert to the previous policy of opening the fucking roof more than once a season?  Is it really too much to ask, that in the so-called Valley of the Sun, we’re allowed to see it as promised.

Yours in contempt

Matt Leinart

*Subject to Favreing things up and reconsidering, of course

Michigan gets all high and mighty about promotional Bud Light cans, claiming trademark infringement.

This is the demon in the flesh, in AZ Cardinal colors.

In the flesh, it looks licke a Dr. Pepper. Maybe THEY should be pissed off.

Can you spot the football connection?

U2 is not afraid of the sky, but the Cardinals (hello? birds!!!) are. WTF?

Dear Michael Bidwill:

Grow a pair, would you?  U2 gets an open roof in October, but the Cardinals are too big of pussies to do the same?  Fuck you.  I paid extra for the hole – I expect to be able to use it.

FOAD

Me.

P.S.  Yes, “Fuck you.  I paid extra for the hole – I expect to be able to use it.” is the same rant I use on that Vegas hooker.  What’s your point?

New season, usual result:  Cards lose.  They’re headed for a(nother) 3-13 year.  Mark it down

Karma:  You dicks shoulda opened the roof more.  Football is not a game for pussies.

Karma:  P.S.:  Ben Rothlisberger is a cocksucker, but I hate you more

Karma:  P.P.S.  The President correctly called this as a narrow Pittsburgh victory.

(yes, Roger Goodell.  I said “Super Bowl.”  Not “Big game.”  Super. Bowl.)

I was listening to ESPN this morning, and some Card came on bragging about practicing in the rain after the humiliating disaster in the snows of Foxboro.   The player said from that point, they would be unaffected by playing conditions.  Oh really?  it that why the Cards did not have the balls to open their own roof against the Falcons?  Or the Eagles?

Cardinals are spoiled little pink tacos.  If there is a drop of rain, they will lose.  If there is sunshine, they will likely lose.   If it is overcast and there are no shadows, it will mimic the sterile, vapid characterless atmosphere of their own stadium and that is the only way those pussies stand a chance.

Steelers by 417.

Dear Michael Bidwill:

It’s 71 degrees in Glendale this very minute, an hour and a half before game time.  There is a 0% chance of rain.  It’s the desert, remember?

Yet, the roof at Pink Taco stadium is closed.  You, sir, are a Pink Taco.   I hope Kurt “but I play better with a roof” Warner throws 4 picks.  In the first quarter.

Eagles 170, Arizona fighting pink tacos 0