Goddam You, Ray

You and your “get yourself another beer.” And your “yeah, you can take a couple with you.” A girl gave me her phone number. I probably shouldn’t have called her. I had a different girl’s number; she had the sense not to pick up. Texting Pro Tip: texting “sleeping” means you’re not. By this point, […]

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If Only

Last night’s moment of j’accuse: Me:  “Hanging out in town tonight.  Friend in from L.A.” Her:  “Hope she is good to you” Her:  “Okay..have fun” Her:  “[Pls check dogs] after your date” Later (paraphrased): Her:  So was it that girl you used to have a crush on? Inner monologue:  If only… Me:  It was my frat […]

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We’ve All Been There

Life imitates…

best of craigslist: HELP ME GET RID OF BURNINGMAN GIRL

best of craigslist: HELP ME GET RID OF BURNINGMAN GIRL.
Originally Posted: 2014-09-09 5:37am

Help ! She won’t leave and can’t accept that Burning Man is over! Please take this girl off my hands. Her name is ‘Leaf’, seemed ok out there in the desert, and she helped us with our art vehicle, “The Giant Six Pack”. She’s on the couch, still sandy and stinky. She still has goggles on her head, which I’m pretty sure she never put over her eyes. I don’t know what to do. She smoked all my weed. She has no I.D. , but is kind of cute. . . in a ‘Burning Man’ kind of way. BUT IT’S OVER, PLEASE HELP, IF YOU KNOW ‘LEAF’, EMAIL ME AND DRIVE HER TO PORTLAND OR ANYWHERE.
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