John Stahl says he watches every second of every security tape. It’s probably a lie, but this new job is not the time to take a chance. You know better. Department 94 to [the front/register 1/liquor department/aisle 27]! This is the intercom call that sets your heart racing. “Department 94” is the code for security. […]Read more "John Stahl watches every second of every security tape"
In the spring of 1989, I sheepishly returned to the College of Arts and Sciences with hat in hand, begging for forgiveness for the nuclear wasteland of my first two semesters, and the subsequent years of minimum wage bullshit and the Meister Brau diet and living the Blutarsky lifestyle with the bare minimum amount of […]Read more "The one about that girl at Osco"
Jewel-Osco : home of “drug food.” And recurring gay themes. It’s Monday. Unload the truck then head to upper crust for pizza and beer. Skip the pizza. Find yourself married to some chick who tried to fix you up with a guy at the bar the first time you meet her outside of work. Osco […]Read more "Not that there’s anything wrong with that…"
Osco Fireworks are the ShitRead more "8 @ 7-4-89"
SDTNTD: The Swamp Years Climb up a storm drain leading from a swamp. The fact that the pipe diameter keeps decreasing while the amount of sediment and water filling it is increasing is nothing to concern yourself with. And, there probably won’t be rats. Anyway, your friends probably have planned for popping the manhole cover […]Read more "Flesh for Fantasy"
Stupid Drunken Things Not To Do Golf, somebody else’s girlfriend, your girlfriends. What could possibly go wrong? If your friendships survive these… (well, they won’t, so don’t worry about it.) 1. Go to 8Barrel’s house to hang out. 8barrel will crash around midnight. Continue drinking with his GF/Fiancé Easy E. Do not, under any circumstances […]Read more "Girlfriend is Better"