Messenger Puppet

(This is not about the fart can muffler or the roof things)

Badges? We need more stinking badges!!

Check the badges: a “Jesus Fish” on a Lancer Evolution.

A million years ago in Denver, I was involved in pedicle screw/spinal fusion surgery lawsuits.  There was a plaintiff named Johnny Lee.  His complaint was this:

Before surgery: boinked his wife 6-10 times a week; interactions were typically 90-120 minutes.

After surgery:  boinked his wife 4-7 times a week; interactions were typically 30-45 minutes. (This dropoff happened after surgery @ about 15 years of marriage)

I scoffed at the time.  Bull fucking shit. Frequency and amplitude were both obviously wild exaggerations.  (I had been married for 5 years at that point and had my own data set.)  I figured that he was just to proud to admit that he desperately wanted Pfizer to invent Viagra.  But (basically), for purposes of civil damages, you’re still getting laid dude – what are your damages?  If you’re lying about sleeping with your wife, you have to sleep with that lie.  We’re not paying.

Nothing in the next 8 years of marriage disabused me of my skepticism.

Then I got divorced.

After wandering in the Arctic tundra, and then the post apocalyptic barren wastelands for a while, I discovered oases that were not mirages.  I have subsequently supplemented my data set, reanalyzed my data, rejected my initial conclusion and revised my theory.  So, yay science.  I can tell you that applying the scientific method to this case study was much more satisfying than simply saying “because God made it that way.”

So there you go.

it looks like a cross from some cult megachurch like Cornerstone or CCV.  Up close, not so much.

Feel free to tithe

NY council seeks to shut down the ‘Gates of Hell’

YONKERS, N.Y. (AP) — A suburban city council is taking up a resolution to ban a defunct power plant’s nickname: the Gates of Hell because they are spineless wieners.

The Yonkers City Council says… that the abandoned plant should be known … as the Glenwood Power Station presented by AT&T or by its address, 666 Samhain Row.

Many community residents call the plant the Gates of Hell, because  quite literally, you walkthrough the door and there you are. A councilwoman used the nickname in a flier about a community meeting.

Council President Chuck Lesnick says nearby residents complained the nickname smears their community.  Not “unfairly” or “unjustifiably”  smears, they are just pissed that their secret is out, which can only mean government intrusion into thei goat sacrifices is next.

In a related story, God is a pusher

God accused of selling cocaine near Tampa church

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) — Police say a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine. Authorities began investigating God Lucky Howard in April, and he was arrested on Saturday. Police say he sold the cocaine to undercover detectives in his neighborhood.

My cousins and their kids are koolaid drinkers

Political Views: Republican Party

Religious Views: Follower of Jesus

Political Views: Republican Party

Religious Views: Christian

Political Views: Conservative

Religious Views: ChRiStiaN RefORmed

At least mostly…

Political Views: Moderate

Religious Views: Christian

Damn you, facebook.

Video: McCain’s “Spiritual Guide” Wants America to Destroy Islam

… and goes completely unnoticed.

Funny Jesus » Blog Archive » Funny Jesus Freak

I thought it was Anthrax

God Listens…

Pat Robertson, noted crazy man, endorsed noted cross dressing fascist Rudy Giuliani for president when the two men appeared together onstage while performing at a live sex show the National Press Club in Washington.

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Robertson said he decided to endorse Giuliani because he was “a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans.

“In all of the crises which confront our nation and the world, we need a leader with a bold vision who is not afraid to tackle the challenges ahead,” Robertson said.

“Instead, I am endorsing Rudy, because that dress photo always gives me a stiffy. Plus, he promises to blow up brown people. Whoops, just saying that gave me another stiffy.”

Giuliani, McCain sell their souls for Christian conservative backing – CNN.com