Animal House

OOO, I am so impressed
Chi O’s may know how to party, but their back seat parlors need an upgrade.

I understood why the girls of “A Chi O” would not associate with us, just as I understood the privilege of the Alpha Phi’s deigning to appear at a joint party with Phi Sigma Kappa and the Fijis.

  1. Money.  They had it, we didn’t.
  2. Class.  They wished, we didn’t.

But the girls of “Chi O”?  Hanging with them was almost as impossible – once, maybe twice a year.  The Phi Mus would be over in a heartbeat.  The DZs were always up for a good time, and the AOPies were usually good sports.  But Chi O?

It couldn’t be the money – they rented out a dorm from Western after losing their house.

It couldn’t be that or class, as this parking lot shows:

  • 1977 base Firebird – equivalent to Pretty Boy.  Also mostly shit.
  • 1978 AMC Concord – complete shit
  • 1978 Ford Fiesta – same as Sheen.  Not complete shit, but cheap.
  • 1979 Ford Pinto – slightly less explosive than Piller’s Pinto, but still beyond complete shit
  • 1979 4 cyl Mustang – same as Gingerman and Hummelberg.  Also, just a shitty truncated Fairmont.

You girls weren’t even Bimmer-driving poseurs, so what gives?  It’s me drunk humping the legs of everyone on your executive board, isn’t it?  (That or the fact that the Tekes and their ample doobage supplies were a lot closer.)

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Caption This

Pontiac GTO crash wall
That’ll buff right out!
  1. Famous Last Words: Jr. will be right in, after he parks the GTO.
  2. Nothing happened last night, right?  RIGHT?!
  3. To cops:  Why no, officer, I was home all night reading the bible and knitting.
  4. Did you hear something?  Nah, go back to sleep.
  5. Attention all units, be on the look out for a brown Opel Kadett with no headlights.
  6. _____________
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