Tag Archives: Road Rage

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Dear Jiffy Lube

Four months ago, you tried to sell me a battery, based on a lower number of cold cranking amps than you thought was right.  And of course, I should have trusted you, because you would *NEVER* misstate a specification or condition to make a sale. (/s)

Anyway, I knew it was coming before you told me – 4 year old car, original battery.  This is Arizona, where you get two years out of a battery and then you are on borrowed time – they fai; like clockwork and I was long overdue.

Moral of the story:  Yeah, you were part right in that it was an eventuality, but way wrong in the urgency. I really enjoyed the 4 extra months out of my battery, and the local autozone really enjoyed my business.  So yeah, Fuck you.  Still.

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raoul.jpg

Jiffy Lube? Lurlene, Yes; Car, No.

In our Jiffy Lube adventure from last March, we learned:

  1. Coolant was “low.”  Extra $ to top off. No other advice.
  2. There was an oil leak “on the engine”/around the oil pan. No advice whatsoever.
  3. Unlike at Autozone, synthetic oil costs ~$10 more per quart, because “fuck you, consumer.”
  4. The Scion needs this expensive oil because NO IT DOESN’T.
  5. Jizz (or just really hard water) instead of washer fluid.

Today was a trip to an actual dealer with knowledge of the the actual car.

  1. Coolant was low because waterpump leak.  Warranty.  Coolant flush/thermostat/drive belt since we’re there anyway.
  2. Yep there was a leak.  Warranty.
  3. Have an oil change.
  4. Still don’t need full syn.
  5. Windex and a car wash to boot.
  6. Also, yeah a recall.  DX that, Loobs.

What did we learn?  Dealers suck, but less so than our “friends”  at the J-lube.

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2008 Scion xB

Fuck you, Jiffy Lube

Me:  Hi, I would like an oil change

Jiffy Lube:  OK, regular (39), semi synthetic (59) or full synthetic (89)

Me:  I have a love hate relationship with this toaster, so let’s go with affordable.

Jiffy Lube:  Uh oh, the manufacturer demands 0W-20  full synthetic. (Ed.: Changed viscosity to appease Ron below)

Scion:  Oh hell no i don’t. Continue reading

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Kiss my ass

Assholes

Kiss my ass

The scenario:  Dumbass wants in  on a turn lane, without the usual courtesies like signaling or merging at the end of the line.  No, we are all supposed to get out of the way so he can get in where he chooses, instead of where conditions dictate. So, he forces his way in behind me into a space a couple sizes too small so his ass hangs over into the next lane.

So far, not my problem.  Except it is, because the dude is concerned about  his ass that he creeps into my car.  He literally pushes my car trying to cure his mistake.  Thanks asshole.

Ford Flex AZ AKD8035

(Yes, Lurlene was with me.  No, she was not  hitting him with the pressed ham before this happened)

The door edge guards don’t actually help

The scenario:  Dumbass can’t pick a lane.  (Duh ^^^).  Except for the one I am in.  He likes that in all four dimensions.  Missed me by that |<—————->| much.

(Yes, Lurlene was with me.  No, she was not  hitting him with the pressed ham before this happened)

Chevy Cobalt AZ 899-VLW

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Dodge Caliber

Don’t Fuck with me, I know Karate

A little wired, perhaps?

A two lane on ramp, that merges to one after signals.

I am first on the ramp.  I am first to the light.  Some asshole comes up from the right, but again, I am first.

La la la.

It’s now  like this: (5 southbound lanes)

  1. SB Carpool lane to EB I-10
  2. SB to EB I-10
  3. SB to EB I-10
  4. SB to EB 202
  5. SB entrance lane/exit to WB I-10.

View Larger Map
So this lane (5) goes to WB I-10.  I don’t want that.  I want EB 202, which is the next lane over (4). Clear. Merge. NBFD, right?  However, Mr. tough guy is evidently pissed about ‘losing” some sort of on ramp race to my xoxbox.  So, he is going to George Costanza merge from 5-4 before me.  Whoops!  Foiled.

“Goddammit, I am not putting up with this shit!”

  • Horn
  • 4-3
  • finger, horn, pass
  • finger, 3-4

Whoo, boy, you showed me, dude.

More finger.  Then 4-5.

That’s right.  The lane he wanted to be in was the lane he started this exercise in. One half mile, four lane changes and a windburned bird finger and blistered horn finger later, and Einstein is exactly where he would be if he wasn’t so road raged into showing me he was faster.

I guess I got schooled.

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AMC amx by MessengerPuppet.com.

Panic at the drive through

AMC amx

Best Gremlin Ever

This is what not to do in an AMC Spirit/”AMX”:

  • Never stick 6 people into one of these.  Two is 2 too many
  • Never let Piller drive to the White Castle – there is no time before Pretty Boy’s wedding
  • Never let Piller act out his sense of outrage at being tapped on the bumper – it was his fault.
  • Also, it’s Detroit.  Your ass is gonna get shot; it’s just a matter of why you deserve it, not whether.
  • Jessie, you really should have asked for the Firebird instead.

NEVER let Karl T. Miller drive

Collectible car show photos: All AMC Car Show, Cecil County Dragway, Rising Sun, MD 2005 Archives.

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Ferrari 458 rear

There’s too many self-indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money!

Left lane bandit 0.  Self important douchebag 1

A Ferrari driver has been arrested after he attacked the owner of a Fiat 600 which had not given way to him as he tried to overtake it on an Italian motorway.

The 32-year-old driver of the £166,000 Ferrari 458 with a top speed of 200mph repeatedly rammed the small car when his attempts to pass it were frustrated.

The man, who has not been named, eventually forced the Fiat 600, worth £7,750 and with a top speed of 93mph, on to the hard shoulder, and then he smashed a window and set about beating up the 32-year-old inside.

via Ferrari driver arrested after bashing Fiat 600 off road for not allowing him to overtake | Mail Online.

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Orange for you nostalgia buffs

Dear SEMA

Are you fucking kidding me?  $35?  PER PERSON?  Last year it was free (except for the part where I skipped a $250 BMG show to go to your “VIP” Offspring concert).  Last year, I got to go on Tuesday.  Last year as a condition of free attendance, I had to work.  This year, I have to wait until the end, and pay, and work for the privilege?  Wow.  Awesome.  Can’t wait.

Next week we’ll be going to a much wider audience with our offer to attend 2010 SEMA Show.

If you are interested, don’t delay. Spaces are limited and once we go big, you may not get a second chance to be one of the nation’s most active and influential automotive enthusiasts to help us identify future trends in the market.

Register now for the SEMA Enthusiast Opinion Leader Research Project.

The SEMA Show is the largest trade show of its kind on the planet, featuring thousands of new automotive specialty parts and accessories, as well as the coolest and most extreme collection of customized and classic vehicles ever assembled. You’ve got the industry’s premier parts manufacturers meeting with the most qualified buyers to do business at a trade show that is not open to the general public.(But it is to you if your participate in this program!)

As a participant, you’ll get an exclusive preview of thousands of new products and vehicles and share your opinions with the world using photos, videos and comments through your favorite social media.

Registration for this Friday, November 5, 2010 program at the Convention Center in Las Vegas is only $35/person. (And you can bring one friend for an additional $35.)

Your window of opportunity is closing quickly. Register now before it’s too late.

Sincerely,

Megan McKernan
SEMA Market Research Special Projects Manager

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FOUFCFK right back at ya

Dear Dr. Gonzo:

This letter is in response to your recent personalized plate request.  The combination of letters [foufcfk]that you requested could be perceived as having a connotation that may be offensive or misleading to the public.  As a result, your plate has been held and will be forwarded to the MVD Personalized Plate Review Committee.   The [PPRC] meets on the third Thursday of every month, after which you will be notified of the committee’s findings… We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

xxoo

Your tax dollars at work

Dear MVD

You’re wrong about foufcfk.  Not only “could [it] be perceived as having a connotation that may be offensive or misleading to the public,”  it has a direct meaning that should be offensive, at least to Redflex.  So FOUFCFK, eh?

Dr. G

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