Dear Jiffy Lube

Four months ago, you tried to sell me a battery, based on a lower number of cold cranking amps than you thought was right. And of course, I should have trusted you, because you would *NEVER* misstate a specification or condition to make a sale. (/s) Anyway, I knew it was coming before you told […]

Jiffy Lube? Lurlene, Yes; Car, No.

In our Jiffy Lube adventure from last March, we learned: Coolant was “low.” Extra $ to top off. No other advice. There was an oil leak “on the engine”/around the oil pan. No advice whatsoever. Unlike at Autozone, synthetic oil costs ~$10 more per quart, because “fuck you, consumer.” The Scion needs this expensive oil because NO […]

Fuck you, Jiffy Lube

Me: Hi, I would like an oil change Jiffy Lube: OK, regular (39), semi synthetic (59) or full synthetic (89) Me: I have a love hate relationship with this toaster, so let’s go with affordable. Jiffy Lube: Uh oh, the manufacturer demands 0W-20 full synthetic. (Ed.: Changed viscosity to appease Ron below) Scion: Oh hell […]

Assholes

The scenario: Dumbass wants in on a turn lane, without the usual courtesies like signaling or merging at the end of the line. No, we are all supposed to get out of the way so he can get in where he chooses, instead of where conditions dictate. So, he forces his way in behind me […]

Don’t Fuck with me, I know Karate

A two lane on ramp, that merges to one after signals. I am first on the ramp. I am first to the light. Some asshole comes up from the right, but again, I am first. La la la. It’s now like this: (5 southbound lanes) SB Carpool lane to EB I-10 SB to EB I-10 […]

Panic at the drive through

This is what not to do in an AMC Spirit/”AMX”:

Never stick 6 people into one of these. Two is 2 too many
Never let Piller drive to the White Castle – there is no time before Pretty Boy’s wedding.
Never let Piller act out his sense of outrage at being tapped on the bumper – it was his fault.
Also, it’s Detroit. Your ass is gonna get shot; it’s just a matter of why you deserve it, not whether.
Jessie, you really should have asked for the Firebird instead.

Phi Sigma Kappa — NEVER let Karl T. Miller drive

Collectible car show photos: All AMC Car Show, Cecil County Dragway, Rising Sun, MD 2005 Archives.

There’s too many self-indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money!

Left lane bandit 0. Self important douchebag 1 A Ferrari driver has been arrested after he attacked the owner of a Fiat 600 which had not given way to him as he tried to overtake it on an Italian motorway. The 32-year-old driver of the £166,000 Ferrari 458 with a top speed of 200mph repeatedly […]

Dear SEMA

Are you fucking kidding me? $35? PER PERSON? Last year it was free (except for the part where I skipped a $250 BMG show to go to your “VIP” Offspring concert). Last year, I got to go on Tuesday. Last year as a condition of free attendance, I had to work. This year, I have […]

Fuck you, Arizona Photo Enforcement

The gravy train stops (for now)

FOUFCFK right back at ya

Dear Dr. Gonzo: This letter is in response to your recent personalized plate request. The combination of letters [foufcfk]that you requested could be perceived as having a connotation that may be offensive or misleading to the public. As a result, your plate has been held and will be forwarded to the MVD Personalized Plate Review […]

Messenger Puppet

Indulge Your Inner Weirdo

Road Rage