Scott Roseypalms

Cereal City Blues

It’s Fall 1983. If you had bothered to attend class, this should have been the start of your junior year in college. Instead, it’s your first semester back: back in school (but it’s at a community college) back home, after a year of unspeakable horrors in the Phi Sigma Kappa house. The BK Lounge is […]

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Get a Date, Don’t Be Late

Chicks will totally put out on a mercy date, right?
I’d like to thank the Academy…
  • Tickets to Founders Day Banquet: $20
  • Ride with some goof named Al: Free
  • Getting a semi-hot date you have absolutely no chance of scoring with 40 minutes before the party starts?: $20 (for the tickets, dipshit). You can get shot down for free anytime you want, and pretty much every time you don’t want.
  • Cheesy award from Scott (which you keep for 25 years) because you at least didn’t go stag, thereby beating the over/under : Obviously priceless.

The pic is from a different banquet, although the girl in the red dress could very well have been my pity date from the award. ^^

Ruth, Pickles, Sue Z, Cripley, Leah, Gingerman
Doesn’t this look worth it?
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Lahaina Vice

More adventures of the Stupid, brought to you with a little help from Don Ho, Jeff Spicoli and Tony Montoya. 9. Park your car in the west entrance of a nature preserve near your house. If your pal 8 Barrel is there, that’s cool. Do this at night. Point your car at the road, while […]

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Bikers and Bushwood

Stupid Drunken Things Not To Do Bum Wine and cheap liquor own you… 53. [Not drunken, but similarly stupid] Drive behind the old insane asylum and the University power plant on your CB350 with 8Barrel riding bitch. Even though it’s dark out, don’t use your headlight, because this dirt road comes out where the cops […]

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Daze of Our Lives

Again, don’t ever do these things!!! 101 (forgot where I left off – Damn you Jose Cuervo) Get a bunch of beer and drink it. Go to a new subdivision under construction where the parents of someone you know are building a new house. It will be more fun explaining this to people who can […]

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