Things Padlock Was Wrong About

1973 Dodge Polara
Mufflers are for the weak
  • That this car was in any way superior to my Fury.
  • Even with my JC Whitney electrical system.
  • Even with it being mechanically identical.
  • That driving this mufflerless shitbox to go be a boy scout leader somehow made me less uncool. Read More

What to Drive

What to Drive to scout meetings in winter, when you work for Fisher Body and are unfailingly loyal to the team, no matter what shitboxes wear the label.  Sorry about that trunk we scratched up.  Who knew snow would do that?

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Plymouth Arrow

Me And My Arrow: Plymouth Fire Arrow on eBay We know this is a fake. Why? Because: rust never sleeps. This car should not exist in the 21st century. Me: Your ‘new’ 3 year old car is all brown and splotchy with rust. Milquetoast: It was blue when I bought it yesterday from those clowns […]

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Dog Days of Summer

A little bit of Joe College, a little bit of big ass lake… 179. Meet a guy named Darrell at freshman orientation. Party with him and some other dork in his “suite” at the Downtowner ($19.99 per night or portion thereof). Nearly kill yourself in a DUI going home, because DUI is still just a […]

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