Messenger Puppet

April 1981 photography by Chevelle

Me And My Arrow: Plymouth Fire Arrow on eBay We know this is a fake. Why? Because: rust never sleeps. This car should not exist in the 21st century. Me: Your ‘new’ 3 year old car is all brown and splotchy with rust. Milquetoast: It was blue when I bought it yesterday from those clowns [...]

Aaah, glorious Philmont. DC 10s, midnight bus rides, long trains to nowhere. On the way home from Santa Fe to Chicago, hang out in the bar car. Watch as your friends (Phid, Bagman and every other horny dork at the table) hit on a little blond girl nicknamed “Ducky” (what’s really scary? Remembering her real [...]

It’s international Starfire/Camaro Day. Drink up!

FIRE!!! Nothing says stupid and drunk like vast, barely controlled fires. As a male, you have an inherent ability to douse any flame, so don’t worry about it. Plus, if you did it right, you can just burn your empties (throw them in top up or they explode, so watch out). Start one of these [...]

1973 Plymouth Fury I 318 V-8 Active Terrorist Repellent System Ebert Repellent System Law Enforcement Scrutiny Diffusers Other, classified enhancements… 1979 (69,000 mi.) -1983(?)

Really Stupid –As Cracker, karate kick the back of the toilet and break off the water inlet tube. (There IS a technical term for this thing.) Once you do this, the toilet is out of commission. Plus, flooding – BONUS!!!  The mechanics are really simple:  run down the hall at full speed, hoping to make [...]