How can I resist?

Date: Sat, 4 Apr 2015 18:02:19 +0530 [05:32:19 AM MST]
From:  Mrs. Emeline Vallien <> India
Subject: Drgonzo, SMELL some fresh body of adorable Mrs. Emeline Vallien

The body of the message was complete spam of course. What I think Mrs. Emeline Vallien intended to tell me was that, as I am a recent divorcee and man of the highest moral standards, she of course was thoroughly entranced by my monstrously large dick and desire to bone all the hot single ladies of south Detroit like her sincerely held beliefs. Continue reading “How can I resist?”


Why no, we were not propositioned by a famous photographer.  No, it did not involve bedroom things that do not usually occur in real life.  Yes, there was twerking.  At least implicitly.

And then we awoke.

the deep dark secrets

on Sirius this morning, I heard “Touch and Go” (The Cars) for probably the third time since it was briefly “popular” in 1980.  This is that:

Anyway, I’m sitting there explaining to my kid what a fucked up disappointment the entire Panorama album was, let alone the cowboy jingle of T&G, when the lyrics grab me: Continue reading “the deep dark secrets”

Fredo Wang: the StifMeister

Pussy wagon What the hell is the point of painting “pussy wagon” on the tailgate of this Dodge truck?

For the longest time, some Dodge truck trims were called “Power Wagons.”  Then Chrysler started calling their trucks “Dodge Ram.”  A couple years ago, they dropped the “Dodge” in favor of simply “Ram.”  With that history as a backdrop (notwithstanding the whole “ram”/”[just try to] dodge [the] ram” innuendo), what do we think the message is? Continue reading “Fredo Wang: the StifMeister”

Donald Wildmon’s Fantasy TV Lineup

Guns don’t kill people, TV does – Wayne LaPierre

8:00 NBC Law and Order SVU Spree Killer shoots mother in law, wife, wife’s co-workers, others.  Killed by cops while pointing handgun at a hooker passenger in the car.

The money shot(s):  Topping the headshots, the double tap of wife’s boss, mom in a pool of blood, the cops shoot this killer in driver seat of his car.  He was holding a gun on a hooker in the passenger seat.  His brains and blood splatter on her face like bukkake. Continue reading “Donald Wildmon’s Fantasy TV Lineup”

Barefoot and Pregnant

Get to it woman – those Mexicans have a head start

Patrick Johnston
Friday near Zanesville, OH
I’m giving a lecture at homeschool conventions this year. My goal is to reach homeschoolers who practice birth control, who don’t want as many kids as the Lord may want to give them. I need your help with a title. Here’s the description:How many kids is a “full quiver”? Can the quiver be too full? What if you cannot afford to take care of your kids? Are there negative consequences to being “spread too thin” in having too many kids? Is birth control biblically justifiable? Are there biblically justifiable exceptions? Are there any forms of birth control that are biblically unethical? Continue reading “Barefoot and Pregnant”

Porn Creep. Or…

You dirty whore.  

I took up blogging as a way to vent about that one bitch and dump the cobwebbed effluvia clogging my brain.  At the time, blogging was the province of nerds and geeks.  At the same time this joint started, we had a secretary who moonlighted in the photographic arts. That creeped into the performance arts.

Now, she’s a blogger.  Evidently there is an entire site dedicated to whoreblogging. And for the dick wielders, a blogging site for them, too.

Is there such thing as penicillin for the internet? Body condoms for blogs?

A – gross

B – “hobbyists,” “providers,” “donations”  and incall. Yeah, I in no way think johns, hookers, cooter rental or the Downtowner Motel