How can I resist?

Date: Sat, 4 Apr 2015 18:02:19 +0530 [05:32:19 AM MST] From:  Mrs. Emeline Vallien <dzaxouimo@airtelbroadband.in>  To:  drgonzo@messengerpuppet.com Subject: Drgonzo, SMELL some fresh body of adorable Mrs. Emeline Vallien The body of the message was complete spam of course. What I think Mrs. Emeline Vallien intended to tell me was that, as I am a recent divorcee […]

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No

Why no, we were not propositioned by a famous photographer.  No, it did not involve bedroom things that do not usually occur in real life.  Yes, there was twerking.  At least implicitly.

And then we awoke.

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the deep dark secrets

on Sirius this morning, I heard “Touch and Go” (The Cars) for probably the third time since it was briefly “popular” in 1980.  This is that: Anyway, I’m sitting there explaining to my kid what a fucked up disappointment the entire Panorama album was, let alone the cowboy jingle of T&G, when the lyrics grab […]

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Fredo Wang: the StifMeister

Pussy wagon What the hell is the point of painting “pussy wagon” on the tailgate of this Dodge truck?

For the longest time, some Dodge truck trims were called “Power Wagons.”  Then Chrysler started calling their trucks “Dodge Ram.”  A couple years ago, they dropped the “Dodge” in favor of simply “Ram.”  With that history as a backdrop (notwithstanding the whole “ram”/”[just try to] dodge [the] ram” innuendo), what do we think the message is? Read More

Not even once

If your’re determined to pop your cherry in the methytown latrine.

Meth Virginity
Ambience courtesy of roaches and vomit

Make sure it’s a Texaco registered toilet.  It’s a dealer service.

Texaco rest room
Tetanus is YOUR problem , though.
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Barefoot and Pregnant

Get to it woman – those Mexicans have a head start Patrick Johnston Friday near Zanesville, OH I’m giving a lecture at homeschool conventions this year. My goal is to reach homeschoolers who practice birth control, who don’t want as many kids as the Lord may want to give them. I need your help with a title. […]

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Porn Creep. Or…

You dirty whore.   I took up blogging as a way to vent about that one bitch and dump the cobwebbed effluvia clogging my brain.  At the time, blogging was the province of nerds and geeks.  At the same time this joint started, we had a secretary who moonlighted in the photographic arts. That creeped into the […]

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