No re-entry – you’ll have to be happy trolling the glory hole.Read more "Worst Sex Club Ever"
Mmmm winter. Time to party in the student ghetto. Pod knows of a cozy little bash. Ever the nonchalant one, he sidles up to all the pretty girls at school as if he’s known them forever. Phid, on the other hand, has more of an end game approach. He gets more, earlier; Pod’s are more […]Read more "I Went to a Garden Party…"
I’ve got the obligatory Hendrix perm and the inevitable pinhole burns Now all down the front of my favorite satin shirt I’ve got nicotine stains on my fingers, I’ve got a silver spoon on a chain Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains… Pink Floyd, Nobody Home It’s the 1970s. You are […]Read more "Leisure Suits and Gold Chains"
That this list of Ten Cars That Won’t Get You Laid On A First Date does not include every car anything I ever drove. Actually, now that I think about it, the Fury wouldn’t be on this list – at least not always.Read more "I guess I am glad"
…and it shows. Your rolling creamsicle ads come in lots of different flavors Possibly the flavor is Sour Apple Black and topless like hookers named Apple The color of 8 barrel air cleaners Him: Reddened, like it’s engorged. Her: Stop looking at my boobs or I will take this microphone and Casino Royale your personal […]Read more "You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history…"
What a stupid piece of shit song, right? Well, it’s also nostalgic (in a pathetic, demented sort of way).
- first time I heard it was at the FSK house
- (at a Phi Sigma Kappa kegger – big surprise)
- The Romantics were from Detroit. Detroit music was cool – WLLZ (Whole lotta Led Zepplin) WRIF (Baby!), Motown (as I learned later). Even Ted Nugent (pre-insanity) compared to the tighty whitey repress your inner weirdo nature of my location
- I could tell anonymous frat girls that I liked them, because it was in the lyrics.
- No, it did not get me laid
- Neither did getting messed up from Budweiser, FWIW, although I sure felt cool.
Despite what your drunken penis-brain tells you, that hot redhead who reminds you of Louise (Padlock’s girlfriend) on the hysterical historical geology road trip to Niagara Falls is NOT hot for you. This is not the first time you will confuse a girl that talks to you with one who is interested in you. It’s […]Read more "New York New York"
- Tickets to Founders Day Banquet: $20
- Ride with some goof named Al: Free
- Getting a semi-hot date you have absolutely no chance of scoring with 40 minutes before the party starts?: $20 (for the tickets, dipshit). You can get shot down for free anytime you want, and pretty much every time you don’t want.
- Cheesy award from Scott (which you keep for 25 years) because you at least didn’t go stag, thereby beating the over/under : Obviously priceless.
The pic is from a different banquet, although the girl in the red dress could very well have been my pity date from the award. ^^Read more "Get a Date, Don’t Be Late"
Yeah, this could totally not be the worst idea ever. —–Original Message—– From: Effects Hazards [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] Sent: Sat 2/24/2007 2:46 AM To: Wink Dinkerson Subject: How are you? My name is Ekaterina.Hi! How are you? My name is Ekaterina. I from Russia, city Cheboksary. To me 28 years. I shall tell to you about myself […]Read more "my future wife"
See? Never believe what you read.
No one I know was ever near Wrigley. In other news, never trust a fucking camera phone. One day’s CYA photo is the next day’s “beyond a reasonable doubt.” You have been warned.
But not by me. I wasn’t there. If I was, I didn’t say anything to you about it. If I did, it wasn’t that. If it was, you knew I was talking about space aliens and not any property crimes or disorderly conduct of any sort whatsoever on or about August 2, 2006 in the vicinity of Clark and – uh, nevermind.Read more "Proof that Chicago did not happen"