Tag Archive for Sparkle Buggy Wash

Sparkle Buggy Wash Classics

Jaguar XJS

Pretend it’s 1984. The DOT has just legalized flush headlights(on the Lincoln Continental Mark VII). You cannot wait for it to trickle down to mere Jaguars, so you spend $3,000 getting European style converted headlights. Then you take your saucy little tart for a little freshening. Where? Not the car spa for a happy finish.…

Sparkle Buggy Wash Classics, Take 2

1983 Oldsmobile 98 Regency

God, I loved these cars.  Everything that was so right, and so wrong about American cars and GM, all bottled up into one effete and ponderous whale for everyman. The Seville (v. 1.0 and 3.0) “notchback” roofline The half Cutlass Supreme/ half tailfin taillights Bumpers that announce that your penis is made of steel. The…

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Drug Food

Jewel-Osco : home of “drug food.” And recurring gay themes. It’s Monday. Unload the truck then head to upper crust for pizza and beer. Skip the pizza. Find yourself married to some chick who tried to fix you up with a guy at the bar the first time you meet her outside of work. Osco…

Sparkle Buggy Wash classics

Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera

Another day, another dude freaking out in the tunnel of love scratched paint and clean whitewalls. Supposedly, it’s over glasses. In my experience, dark, noise, meth withdrawal, DTs or the cocaine OD death of Kevin DuBrow are all just as likely. HT: Winding Road In honor of this, the car of the day is the…