The Game Is Afoot

General Chang: I can see you, Kirk.
Captain James T. Kirk: Chang.
General Chang: Can you see me? Oh, now be honest, Captain, warrior to warrior. You do prefer it this way, don’t you, as it was meant to be? No peace in our time. “Once more unto the breach, dear friends.”

I guess we’re playing this out.


SPOCK: You’ve done well, Valeris. As your sponsor at the Academy I’ve followed your career with satisfaction. And as a Vulcan, you have exceeded my expectations.
VALERIS: I do not understand this representation.
(referring to a painting on the wall)
SPOCK: It’s a depiction from ancient Earth mythology. ‘The Expulsion from Paradise.’
VALERIS: Why keep it in your quarters?
SPOCK: To be a reminder to me that all things end.
VALERIS: It is of endings that I wish to speak. Sir, I address you as a kindred intellect. Do you not recognise …that a turning point has been reached in the affairs of the Federation?
SPOCK: History is replete with turning points, Lieutenant. You must have faith.
SPOCK: That the universe will unfold as it should.
VALERIS: But is this logical? Surely we must…
SPOCK: Logic? …Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end.

Top ten? Only 10?

The Star Trek website/Facebook is running a contest to name the top 10 episodes of the original series. Sounds good, but it’s 10 from a preselected 30.  We agree on 15 of their 30.  We just think they zigged when they should have zagged on 35 others (15 of theirs; 20 of ours that don’t overlap).  We’re right; they’re wrong.  Here is the breakdown of the top episodes, from which the top 10 should be drawn (ones where FB agrees are shown):

Pilots (1/2)

Facebook Top 30

My Top 35


The Cage   XXX (original Orion slave girl)

Season 1 (11/27)




Balance of Terror XXX XXX (das boot with Romulans)


The Galileo Seven   XXX (scary fog monsters)


Arena XXX XXX (GORN!!!)


Tomorrow Is Yesterday XXX XXX (Starfighters and time travel)


The Return of the Archons   XXX (Landru)


A Taste of Armageddon   XXX (death booths)


Space Seed XXX XXX (KHAAAN!)


The Devil in the Dark XXX XXX (Not a bricklayer)


Errand of Mercy   XXX (Pacifists)


The City on the Edge of Forever XXX XXX (Joan Collins)


Operation: Annihilate!   XXX (flying death pancakes)

Season 2 (17/26)




Friday’s Child   XXX (Julie Newmar)


Amok Time XXX XXX (Spock in heat)


Wolf in the Fold XXX XXX (Jack the Ripper)


The Changeling   XXX (Nomad:  You are the Kerak)


The Apple   XXX (dinosaur furnace)


Mirror, Mirror XXX XXX (evil Spock)


The Deadly Years   XXX (senile Kirk > bureaucrat)


I, Mudd XXX XXX (“Harcourt
Fenton Mudd!!”)


The Trouble With Tribbles XXX XXX (“Garbage scow”)


Bread and Circuses   XXX (gladiator planet)


A Private Little War   XXX (monkey bites Kirk)


The Gamesters of Triskelion   XXX (training thralls)


A Piece of the Action XXX XXX (gangster planet)


Patterns of Force XXX XXX (Nazi planet)


The Ultimate Computer   XXX (the story of Steve Jobs)


The Omega Glory   XXX (Yangs and Comms)


Assignment: Earth XXX XXX (Teri Garr)

Season 3 (6/24)




Elaan of Troyius   XXX (crazy chicks in love)


The Enterprise Incident XXX XXX (pointy eared Kirk)


The Mark of Gideon   XXX (she wants kirk’s VD)


The Way to Eden   XXX (Dr. Sevrin – “Hey, Brother”)


The Savage Curtain   XXX (Lincoln)


All Our Yesterdays XXX XXX (Mariette Hartley and witches)

 so what makes up your top 10?

Life, the Universe, and Everything

Life, the Universe, and Everything is explained by football or Star Trek.  It’s true.  Football is easy – anything that has to do with sex fits.

Star Trek takes on other things – racism, war mongering, cultural elitism.  Recently, it became apparent that Star Trek explains divorce behavior.

David Marcus Kid: I’m sorry, sir. Just don’t surrender. Genesis doesn’t work the bus pass is free. I can’t believe they’d kill us for it she wouldn’t help me get it.
Kruge Ex: Admiral You asshole, your young friend is mistaken. I meant what I said. And now to show that my intentions are sincere, I shall kill one of the prisoners piss all over some more of the kid’s innocence.
Kirk Dad: Wait a minute! Give me a chance to talk.
Kruge Ex: [in Klingon bitchspeak] Kill piss on one of them. I don’t care which.

* * *

Kirk Dad: You should take the Vulcan too get the kid the free bus pass, just like the last two years.
Kruge Ex: No.
Kirk Dad: But why?
Kruge Ex: Because you wish it.

KrugeEx: Genesis [Ed.:  No, not THAT Genesis.  Not ever.], I want it!
KirkDad: Beam the Vulcan upGet the bus pass, and we’ll talk.
KrugeEx: Give me what I want, and I’ll consider it.
KirkDad: You fool, look around you! The planet’sYour parenting’s destroying itself!
KrugeEx: Yes, exhilarating, isn’t it?
Kirk Dad: If we don’t help each other, we’ll your chance to be a mom to your kid will likely die here.
Kruge Ex: Perfect. Then that’s the way it shall be.

Yet to come is the wrapup  of this little discussion


Spectre of “the Bodyguard”

So last night I watched Wyatt Earp, the 1994 Kevin Costner flick.  I never intended to watch this movie, as it was one of those copycat releases that were so popular in the 1990s:

  • Tombstone (1993)/Wyatt Earp (1994) (the Earp story)
  • Braveheart (1995)/Rob Roy (1995) (crazy Scots who live in mud and fight those damn brits)
  • Armageddon (1998)/ Deep impact (1998) (oh no! asteroids!!!!)

Rather than work on parts of the empire or the new directions I would like to go, I watched all 311 minutes of this thing. I liked the story, tracing Earp from trying to be a lawyer, to a drunken horse thief, to casino piss boy to accidental law man.  He tried to get out of that business, but kept being dragged back in.  It was always about the brothers, and making a place for them all.

The mountain of bison hides and the skinning and waste of everything else just made me want to barf.  BASTARDS!

Especially cool was that others – townspeople, sheriffs –  kept trying to have him and his gang arrested for stuff he did on the job.  Growing up with Gunsmoke, et al., it seemed like if the marshal shot you, it was your fault, not his.  In Earp, shooting the corpse of your fallen enemy, or your enemies when their gun isn’t loaded makes you a murderer, not a colorful hero.

[Word to the wise, Joe Arpaio]

In any event, the story was much different than I expected.  No OK Corral showdown.  No gangicide to end the problem right then and there.

No Melkotians.


 In four words: Beats fighting with Lurlene Different than on “Trek”

Star Trek Into Darkness: Dick Cheney and the Orcs

Go see it.  Now.  Meet some friends again, for the first time.

Other thoughts:

  • wow, that timeline is fucked.
  • Again.
  • Kirk turned 50 in the Star Trek II.
  • Don’t talk to me.
  • Goddammit.
  • Spock has head wings when he runs
  • Pike has mutton chops.
  • The ST:TMP good uniforms are back.
  • So are the Starship trooper naziwears
  • Because: Uniformzzzz
  • Carol Marcus

Carol Marcus

  • Robocop is a dick
  • San Francisco is an iceberg
  • whiskey ice balls, just like the first time.
  • Neo?  hey wait, it’s just that guy we know from TV, woken up as a result of Vulcan blowing up in the first one.
  • Orcs?
Orc or klingon
Orc or klingon?
Orc or klingon?

Dear @WilliamShatner

I enjoyed being invited to join you at the awards dinner.  I expected to be pushed around by the tv crews as someone of lesser importance.  I did not expect to be included in the nomination for my stellar (hah!) inspirational work on Star Trek.  I hate tuxedos; the only thing worse would be the ST:TMP polyester pajamas.

Star Tek: The Motion Picture crew
Worst monkey suits ever

Continue reading Dear @WilliamShatner