I’ll get right on that

In today’s email: From: Former Client [mailto:Former Client@yahoo.gmail] Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 8:11 AM To: Former Client@yahoo.gmail Subject: Greetings From Spain!!! How are you? I hope this email reaches you well. I’m so sorry for this emergency and urgency. I’m presently in Spain for a Project but I want you to be aware of my […]

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Fit for a self important blowhard

Rolls-Royce is creating a special “Year Of The Dragon” edition, based on the Chinese zodiac, of the Phantom for 2012. The dragon is a symbol of power and prosperity, which seems fitting for a Rolls, and its image will be featured throughout the car.  Rolls-Royce Creates Year Of The Dragon Collection Phantom. Sounds perfect for […]

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The way is shut.

It was made by those who are Dead. And the Dead keep it, Until the time comes. The way is shut. Six years ago, there was a detective.  She did a little work for a guy, once upon a time.  After a few months, she wanted to be his friend, because what do friends do?  […]

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12 Angry Men

Jury duty calls.  DUI, where the guy was not driving.  We call that “in actual physical control.”  However, in actual physical control means anything from getting a drunken blowjob sleeping in the car with keys in your pocket to sitting in your living room with a buzz after you drove a car (regardless of when […]

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JLR Was Right?

A million years ago in Denver, I was involved in pedicle screw/spinal fusion surgery lawsuits.  There was a plaintiff named Johnny Lee.  His complaint was this: Before surgery: boinked his wife 6-10 times a week; interactions were typically 90-120 minutes. After surgery:  boinked his wife 4-7 times a week; interactions were typically 30-45 minutes. (This […]

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End of the Year Filler

Sucked suits against crazy ladies Didn’t suck getting fired from one Sucked getting fired from one for costing too much and taking too long Didn’t suck Winning everything I did. Winning everything I started and the other guy finished, on the arguments I made. Seeing that the case is still dragging on Didn’t suck ending […]

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Dr. Evil and his Henchmen

Where I saw one: Commuting on surface streets, since the highway was chock full of nuts. Nostalgia Factor: -1,000,000/10. Baseline 0, since I never owned one. +1 for being a kick ass evil henchman sedan. -1 for being German, which means a 50% chance of being a giant piece of shit. +1 for this one having […]

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My day job

I write a lot, and there are usually rewrites. Sometimes, they’re major, like when lawyer language just doesn’t work, and one has to speak freely…

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Today’s Nemesis

“I hate you.  I hate your mob hitman zoot  monkey suits.  I hate your website.  I hate you for making this wait two weeks over some other guy’s BS.  What now? Let me tell you what now. I’ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’… ” EPILOGUE:  No asskicking, except by me.  I completely beat down the other guy […]

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