It’s Wednesday…

and it is a day of shit. HST is still dead. Me = owned by the judge on a big motion. Saw the old boss and his wife Leona Helmsley and Duloc-land kids. MRG did not recognize me. Wife did and stuck up her nose. RRRAAARR!!!

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Secretary/ Porn Star

The famous secretary, Debbie Lovelace, quit today.  To protect those of us who knew or suspected the porn biz from any WTF?! OMG! issues from the IT guy, I got to clean off her internet “favorites” including an administrator account here and  this (OMFG! NSFW) in her browser history. Update:  Apparently while in Vegas last […]

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Gee, I can’t pay my $20K bill and I got kicked out of the club so I can’t even throw you some perks.  But this is what I am driving these days… –A deadbeat client FYI, those are 44s.  “Normal” penis compensators ride on 34s.  Plus, there is an extra 6-8″ in the front wheelwell. So, […]

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My Secretary is a Porn Star

Dear MP Forum:  I never thought the stories here could ever be true.  Then one day, I walked into my secretary’s office without knocking and… Man, when I started representing strip clubs, I didn’t think my life could get weirder. To be fair, it’s Mr. Boxter’s secretary, and to be truthful, she is not a […]

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So I have this court case in Detroit for my strip club guy on an unrelated thing. I don’t live there. The bad guys file a motion. I ask the Court if I can argue my side on the phone. “Nope.” WTF?!?! I argue motions by phone all the time in my “home court.” So I go […]

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Some attorney

Do you know this guy? Unfortunately, I cannot say a nice thing about him. He is on the other side of a lawsuit in another state. His motions sound like this (I am paraphrasing, but not making this up): Because Defendants [my guys] breached a contract, they should not be able to argue that they […]

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The story of “Messenger Puppet”

Where this goofy ass name comes from… Once upon a time, there was a type A asshole named Critter Joe.  He owned a consulting company called Critter Joe Enterprises. (He got paid to say, “you suck.”) Critter Joe Enterprises had a consulting contract with “Bongholio.” Bongholio terminated the contract because Critter Joe (through Critter Joe […]

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